Chilly Joy

I stood by the gas pumps, filling my car with fuel. An icy wind blew against me - and felt like it went through me. We were traveling home and the weather had taken a wintry turn.

One thing my joy journey has taught me this year is that joy can be found in every circumstance. The Bible tells us this: "Count it all joy...." "Be thankful for everything...." I pondered these things as gas flowed into my car. Can I be joyful about the cold wind and weather?

I don't really mind cold weather - as long as I'm not standing out in it with an inadequate coat. But to be joyful about it?

The changing weather, the seasons from warm to hot to cool to cold, reminds me of the Creator God. He established the sun and moon, the seasons, the passing of time. He set in motion the movements of the earth, the tilt of its axis, the cycle of its life. He started time itself and created ways for us to see the time passing.

The chill reminds me of His power, His order, His sovereignty over all. In a world that often seems out of control, I can remember who has it all in His hand. Whatever happens is guided by Him.

That brings joy, blown in on a chilly wind.

Seeing Joy in the Past

I was listening to Pandora today. A specific song came on and I was immediately transported back about 6 years. That year I was struggling in a place where I was following a dream. But things were hard. Everything seemed hard. And every morning (it seemed) as I drove to my place, I heard a particular song*. That song gave me a boost to continue in what I was doing. I was reassured that, one day, things would fall into place.

I kept trying my best. I did all I knew to do and tried to do other things in new ways. I saw some successes and some failures. Everything was still hard. But I continued on.

Then my principal came into the room and told me he would not renew my contract for the next year. This was the same week my wife had a terrible car accident and lay in the hospital. And a couple of weeks after the principal had said he was renewing me. He changed his mind.

Driving to the hospital after work, I heard that song again. It seemed ironic and comforting at the same time.

As I heard the song today, I looked back at those 6 years. I rejoiced that the principal did not renew my contract. I know that if he had, I would have struggled in that teaching position for at least another year. I would have missed other opportunities that I now have. That failure (in my mind if not in actuality) was preparation for me today. Because of that struggle I now jump and move and dance with preschoolers. Because of those experiences, I ended up making a living as a writer and editor. Becoming self-employed freed me to care for Cindy then and later when she was so sick.

Today's joy is a past loss that led to so much more gain. (I rejoice in the God who holds all in His hand and directs us to successes and failures as He sees fit.)


*The song? Overcomer by Mandisa

Moving Into a New Season

Recently I posted a comment on Facebook that Cindy and I are not teaching kindergartners in Sunday School this coming church year. We received some very nice comments and are humbled by the things that friends said. I've been thinking a lot about our journey and the place where we are now. Here are a few observations:

We are committed to teaching and to early childhood education. Both Cindy and I have spent our adult lives involved in education in some way or another. We love teaching and know that God has given us the privilege to help boys and girls grow in knowledge and understanding. Guiding children to know God and His love has truly been a joy. And we continue to commit to supporting others who teach and supporting boys and girls as they learn.

We are not withdrawing or pulling away. We will still be involved in our church in various ways. We will look for ways we can minister and live out our faith in the community where we are connected. For various reasons, we need a little break from teaching but that doesn't mean a break from our lives as followers of God.

In fact we are following where we feel God is leading. Independently and as a couple, we know this is a right choice for right now. We need to create some space. Our lives need some space so God can do some new things. We are now more open and available for a new ministry. The children's ministry needs some space so someone else can step in an experience the joy of ministry that we have had in the past (several) years. I know God is calling someone else to teach kids.

This is just a different season. One thing I've learned in our past journey is that God brings us into different types of seasons. Some are long and some are short. But all are important for us to grow. "Not teaching kindergarten" is our season right now. For how long? I don't know. Maybe just a year. Maybe longer. Maybe we're shifting to something complete different. I don't know. But I do know that God is in control. We trust Him for each season through which He has led us.

God is faithful. Whatever we do, we want stay on the journey that He is leading. Sometimes making changes seems reckless. But if we're obedient He is faithful.

One final thing...we have a lot of stuff. We brought home at least nine bags of stuff! (Well, teaching young kids does take stuff.)

When God Speaks

I (Cindy) love reading the Bible. Even passages I have read before teach me new things from the Scripture about God. I have been reading in the Books of 1 Kings, 2 Kings, 1 Chronicles, and 2 Chronicles for the past few weeks. (I am reading chronologically, so the order is interesting!) The passage from 1 Kings 13 seemed unfamiliar to me, even though I must have read it before. Here is a summary of the passage, but I urge you to read it for yourself.

A young man of God journeyed to Bethel to prophesy against Jeroboam, king of Israel. He would not eat or drink with Jeroboam because he was commanded by God not to do so. So the young man started home a different way than they way he had come.

An old prophet in Bethel heard what the young man of God had done. He took his saddled donkey and pursued the young man. When the old prophet found him, he invited him to his own house to eat and drink. Again the young man declined to go. But the old prophet deceived the young man of God saying God sent him to bring the young man to his house. So the young man of God went with the old prophet.

After they had eaten, a real word from God came to the old prophet. “This is what the Lord says: Because you rebelled against the command the Lord God gave you—you ate and drank—your corpse will never reach the grave of your fathers.”

The old prophet sent the young man home on old prophet’s donkey, but along the way he was attacked by a lion. The old prophet found him and took him back to his house and buried him there, far from the grave of his fathers.
I believe this is a cautionary tale for us, especially in the present days. Many false teachers are spreading a message that is consumed by people who do not take the time to test the teachings against God’s Word. This can have grave consequences for people, just like the young man of God in the passage. When we are quick to believe other people and follow their deceits, we can put ourselves in dangerous situations. I think of the multitude of people who follow religious leaders such as Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses. These people do not know the real gospel and their leaders are dooming them to an eternity in hell. Others, such as Joel Osteen, who preach a prosperity gospel, are leading their followers down the same condemned pathway.

When Jesus sent out His disciples, He told them, ““Look, I’m sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as serpents and as innocent as doves.” (Matthew 10:16 CSB) Serpents are shrewd because they flee from danger and lies (wolves), but do not use that to harm others (doves). This is what I want to remember—be shrewd in my discernment, but show love and grace to others.

Are You Creative?

Playground

I like the create new things. I like to build new stories or poems with words. I like to dabble in a few crafts. I like to develop new activities or learning experiences for my preschoolers. I like to take items destined for the trash and create something I can use in my classroom.

But I struggle to say yes if someone asks me if I am creative. I think lots of us adults struggle with that word. I think that often we define creative as someone who can paint happy little trees that actually look like trees or decorate a cake that looks like the Mona Lisa. Someone who can write beautiful sonnets that make men weep or compose music that stirs the very soul.

Well maybe all that is a little grandiose. Seriously, though, we (or maybe I) often consider someone creative who is obviously gifted in an artistic area and creates remarkable things. And we hesitate to say that we ourselves are creative because what we do seems much more mundane...or doesn't fit into those artistic categories.

Creative is so much more. It's developing a system in your family for making laundry easier and take less time. (Not me.) It's creating a meal for the family from the interesting odds and ends left in the pantry. It's keeping kids (and yourself) sane while waiting in a waiting room. It's leading adventures in the backyard - fighting pirates or finding mermaids or seeing sprites in the trees. It's making things work even when it seems like nothing will.

Preschoolers keep teaching me more and more about creativity. They can take a group of random elements and see things that I couldn't without their help. Blocks and cardboard tubes become a playground climbing structure. Torn paper glued together becomes a robot. Play dough becomes a gourmet feast. (Not one you eat but just look at!)

They look at things and begin to work. They do not think about it much. They just start working and eventually get something they are pleased with. Even if it's not what they thought about in the beginning. They see new possibilities and try new things until everything works out. Or doesn't and then they start over.

Did you solve a problem today? You are creative. Did you use something for an alternate purpose? You are creative. Did you figure out a way to maneuver through the day, keeping yourself and your family intact? You are creative.

Today's Joy: Being creative and seeing things in new ways.

Dingaling

One of my favorite joys is playing in our church handbell choir. Last night was our annual concert, wrapping things up until fall. No only did I get to play with our adult group, but I watched boys and girls and teenagers ring as well. Many of those children I had taught when they were younger, so it was like I got to see some of my own older "kids" playing music and leading in worship.

Our director told us that handbells are the only instrument that is played by multiple people at the same time. That's one thing I love about it - we have to work together as a team and listen to what's happening to create the music. I can bang along, just playing my bells at the appropriate time - but that will not contribute to creating music. I've got to blend with the other bells, making sure my part supports the melody or rings out if it is the melody.

Also, I like that when I make a mistake, it doesn't totally ruin the worship experience. Yes, a wrong bell will create a clash. But if everyone is continuing on (and I recover to continue on), then that mistake is swallowed with the rest of the music. I need to be prepared and I need to be accurate but a mistake isn't catastrophic. The support of others helps me move beyond my mistake. (Hmm, that's a metaphor for the church, isn't it?)

Being a part of the bell choir helps me be more than I am alone. I'm not a great ringer but I can get by in most situations. I can handle most techniques adequately and I'm getting better at contributing to the dynamics and overall music. But even if I play everything perfectly, my part is incomplete without the rest of the choir. With the rest of the players, I'm part of a greater whole, creating something more than a couple of notes ringing over and over.

I am so grateful for Linda (our wonderful director) and my fellow ringers. I love worshiping with you!

I hope my life can be like my bell playing. I hope I can join with the rest of my fellow church members and other Christians as a whole and make something greater than we ever could alone. That's when the joy comes. Working together - seeing the whole become worship for God and His glory.


P.S. Here's a video of us ringing, by Scott Etheridge.

Got Grouchy?

"Blessed are the grouchy for they will be reminded of the joys God has given."

This isn't a real verse but sometimes I need it to be one. I've been a little grouchy mood for the past week or so. (Cindy may need to offer rebuttal on the length of said mood.) Things are going well. I've caused myself some stress, but that's not new. Sometimes preschoolers act like...well, preschoolers...and that's not new either. A group of 500,000 people invade the city for the NFL draft - well, that is new but I can just stay away from that as much as possible.

Even the few things that are not well are fairly minor. So, why grouchy?

Mainly it's because I don't pay attention. If I start to complain online, I'm filled with thoughts about what is good or what things I have or how my complaint is so small in light of the rest of my life. I forget to look for the joys I have, the joys God has given. He reminds me.

I have to choose to pay attention, to see those joys. And, if I want to see the unjoys, complaints? They pop up in my vision with barely a thought. "I'm late on some work." (I have been given lots of paying work!) "I don't feel good." (I have a reason to sleep all day!) "I must drive downtown in this traffic." (I get to spend quality time with Cindy one-on-one in the car!)]

Feeling grouchy? I know there are often lots of good reasons for it. But look underneath. God has given a joy there if we'll just find it.

Something I Didn't Know I Needed

About a year ago, a friend asked me if I would be willing/interested in leading a music class for a homeschool co-op. While I've had some different experiences teaching and leading kids, this was something new for me. I try to be open to new things so I agreed.

And I immediately panicked inside. What would I do with the kids for an hour? How could I teach music when I'm not trained for that? And...lots of other things. But I took it one step at a time, found some resources, and begin to make a plan.

This week I completed the semester. This experience is something that I did not know I needed but I'm so grateful for doing it. I was reminded or relearned a few things during these classes.

• Kids are funny. I enjoyed each one of the kids in my music class. They were individual and interesting. They surprised me and challenged me. And they made me a better teacher.
• Fancy stuff isn't needed to teach. I did borrow some instruments from the church to use from time to time. But we used plastic cups and sand in bottles and wooden sticks with bells and paper with crayons to create different musical experiences.
• Sometimes you can joke around and be "one of the kids" and sometimes you gotta be the adult. Yes, I did use my stern voice a few times during the semester.
• Music is a great way to learn and greater when shared. If nothing else, I had an enjoyable time each week singing and moving and learning with boys and girls.
• I do have some teaching skills. Those took a beating a while back and it was good to see that I can indeed teach.
• It's always a good idea to try something new. Even if things don't work out, I can learn something.

I didn't know I needed this particular experience. But I did. And I get to do it again in the fall!

Fine Dining

Today I had a very important lunch meeting. I had lunch with one of the three-year-old classes. We compared lunch boxes. We compared lunches. We talked about things that had happened and people in our families. Someone offered me crackers from her lunch. (I declined but thanked her.) We talked about the music that was playing. We exchanged opinions.

"I like all the colors...except orange."
"Why don't you like orange?"
"I don't know. It's just a weird color."

Overall, I was treated like a VIP and welcomed into the class community - all at the same time.

One thing was interesting to me. All the conversations and the entire experience was positive. No complaining or negative talk. If we ventured into something negative ("I like peanut butter but not jelly"), it seemed to divert back into positive ("But, you know my brother? He likes peanut butter and jelly"). I didn't think about it at the time but every comment, every conversation was filled with excitement and joy.

I think we adults function in the opposite manner. Most of our casual conversations seem tinged with negativity--traffic is so bad, the workload is mighty, the weather is too (whatever). We may have positive things to mention but the complaints seem to prevail. (Note, I am the chief of offenders in this.)

Now I know that children are not always happy and joyful. But in many situations that is their default setting. Encountering something new or unusual or different, most children are curious and excited. Many adults, encountering something new or unusual or different, are suspicious and withdrawn. As we grow older, our overall approach seems to change from welcoming to weary.

Joy leaks out of preschool rooms and playgrounds. I hope that by spending some time with young children each week, I can move my default from weary complaint to welcoming excitement.

I am thankful that each week I get to see life from the young end of the spectrum.

Love Yourself

The other day a friend posted about choosing words carefully and the words we use can affect our attitudes. "I get to ..." gives a different attitude than "I have to...." I agree. Words are important and the words we choose impact what we think and what we feel. Several days later, I'm still thinking about that. Why? Because I'm the best as negative self-talk. "You are so dumb! Why can't you do things right? You talk too much. No one is interested in that." My mind is great at pulling up things to keep the ego in check (so to speak).

Of course, I have shortcomings and deficiencies. But I have good stuff, too. After all, Cindy chose to marry me and I think she has pretty high standards. (Ha!) So today - for my joy and thankfulness - I am going to appreciate who I am. (Warning: This may seem like a bragging post - so now's the time to bail. You've been warned.)

I'm a decent writer. I can put words together to create ideas and emotions. I communicate well through the written word. And people even pay me to do it.

I love to help others. I like to do those "behind the scenes" things. I like to stack chairs or file papers. I even once had fun helping to washing dishes at church after Wednesday night meal.

I enjoy making music. Playing handbells and singing in the church choir are two of my favorite things. And now I get to make music with young children weekly.

I was made to teach young children. I like having conversations with them and learning from them. I like talking to them about new things or their own ideas. I can be patient with their silliness and even add my own silliness to the mix at times. I love being with them and I think they like being with me.

Jesus said to love your neighbor as yourself. We are admonished to do both. Some easily love others but don't seem to like themselves much. Others focus on themselves and seem to dislike everyone else. We must do both.

Sorry for the ego trip in this post. But, too often I neglect to be thankful for who I am. I so often find myself wishing I was different (discontent!). So today I'm thankful for me, who I am and what I can do.

Blessings as Burdens

One way I keep joy from being present is by not seeing the blessings. And often I may even look at what I've received as burdens. I think this is even worse that not being thankful - turning something for which I should be grateful into a complaint.

Right now I have a lot of things to do. This week was extremely busy for me. I had meetings and appointments and expectations. I have writing that is overdue. I have lots to keep me going. How do I look at this? Sometimes I say: "I have so much to do. I'll never get it all done." I complain about it and worry about it and so forth. What I should say is: "God has given me so many opportunities. I am thankful that I have ways to earn what I need for my expenses." I look at the blessings and see them as burdens.

Sometimes I may say: "Oh. Spaghetti (or whatever) again. I wish I had something else." In a Bible study last year, I learned that wishing for things to be different is a sign of discontent. I should be saying: "God provides food each day. Even more food than I need because I am never hungry. And my wife is well and can make dinner for me. I am thankful for a full pantry and for someone to share it with."

Do we have challenges? Sure. But others have a lot more than we have. And we've been equipped to deal with each one that comes along. God is good.

I am so easily distracted from joy, thankfulness, and contentment. Why is it so easy to look at the abundance I've been given and moan about how to handle the surplus?

I am thankful for what I've been given, every bit of it. I pray I would see that joy and contentment in each day, in each thing that comes to us.

Different Gifts

I am thankful for the written word. I am so glad that every day I have the opportunity to put words together and create curriculum or stories or blog posts or other things. Words have been helpful to me since I was young. I love to read and I love to write. I am thankful that this is the gift I have.

But I am thankful that others have different gifts. If everyone was the same as me, then we would be missing a lot in this world. We would not have lots of beautiful music. I like to sing but I'm not a great singer. I wish I could play the piano but I cannot. I love to hear music - all kinds - and I'm grateful that others have musical gifts so I can enjoy them.

I am thankful for people who can fix things. I'm not very adept at this type of stuff. I can drive a nail. I can change a tire. But I don't enjoy those things and I cannot do many of those things well. I am grateful that others can tune an engine or take down a tall tree or make the computer work right again.

I am thankful for people who create. Art and sculpture and beautiful things. New inventions or ways of doing things. I am grateful for people who see things in different ways. Preschoolers always show me new ways of thinking and seeing and creating. They are some of the most imaginative people I know.

I am thankful for people who serve. Those who pick up my trash each week. The ones who prepare food and bring it to the table. Those who stock grocery shelves and mow lawns. Sometimes we don't see these things as gifts. But when someone is handling these tasks, they are giving me back time because I don't have to do them. Through their service, they provide space for me to practice my gifts. That's a powerful gift to me, and I am grateful for those who give it.

Today I am thankful for the gift that you give each day to the world around you.

One Year

This time one year ago, Cindy was recovering from surgery for her cochlear implants. One year. In so many ways it seems like a much longer journey than that. (At least to me.) We've learned some new things and adjusted to doing other things differently. We have spent a lot of time together.

I am thankful for one year.

I am thankful I have had her with me for this time. I am thankful that she can hear so well. I'm thankful that I hear her laugh at my silly jokes. I am thankful that God has provided for us this past year, so we've been able to pay our living expenses and medical bills. I am thankful for a church family that supports and loves us in many ways. I am thankful for our families who check on us and spend time with us when we can get together.

I've always said that I'm grateful for each day because no day is promised to us. But as I look back over the past year full of days, I am so glad for this time we've had. There have been other difficulties and other worries that crop up. There have been challenges - nothing to do with medical issues - that we've weathered. And even today we are facing some new things. But I am grateful.

I know Cindy has changed over the past year. No one could experience the things she has and not change. And I see how I have changed too. We have grown over the time we've been married - but I truly think that we are closer than ever. I am so grateful we can have discussions about the Bible like we have in the past. That she can still tell me which turn to take as we drive. That she encourages me and chastises me and loves me as no one else does.

Yes, I am thankful for one year. And each day that comes after it.

His Timing

I am thankful for God's timing. When things happen, my first response is often "Why now?" or some variation of that. In recent years, God has helped me stop asking that question. Well, I still ask it but then dismiss it. (Remember, I'm a slow learner and need lots of reminders.) I was reminded again last night about timing. A friend said to me, "If this 'bad thing' had not happened a while back, there is no way we could deal with our current situation."

I've written before about how God prepared us for where we are now. I became self-employed years before I needed a more flexible schedule. Now I am able to care for Cindy if needed - which mostly means to drive her wherever she needs to go. If I had a regular 9-to-5 job, this would be a struggle. If I remained an elementary school teacher, this would have been almost impossible. (Being a teacher is one of the least flexible schedules you can have - and it's more work to be out than to be at work.)

More recently, I was asked to lead the teacher training at our church last year. Part of that meant I got to lead training for our MDO teachers - which led to me becoming one of them, teaching music. I was already thinking music because I had taught church preschool choir and I was planning to lead the homeschool music class for younger elementary kids. All of this just dovetailed together. I was preparing to be a music teacher before I even knew that's what I was doing. (As an aside, I also had written some music curriculum suggestions for VBS, too. More preparation.)

God's timing is perfect, even if I don't always (rarely) see it. I am so grateful for that. As other events have been happening around me, I take comfort in the knowledge that God is moving the pieces around to prepare things for whatever is coming next. Not just for me but for the church, the community, the people around us. That's exciting. I can't wait to see what will develop from what is happening now.

I am thankful for God's timing, and for being prepared for what's next.

The Cheese Cutter

I love teaching kindergartners. This week I joined a friend building with blocks. He built this machine - for cutting blocks of cheese. He carefully placed the "cheese" on the far end. He hit the middle of the machine for the center block to fall and cut the block on the other side.

He had varying success with his machine. Sometimes the "slicer" would fall but only cut the corner of the cheese. Sometimes other parts of the machine would fall off or the whole thing would fall apart. And, more than once, the slicer fell backward. "It cut this off!" my friend cried, pointing to his knuckle.

"That seems like a dangerous invention," I said.

He nodded. "Of course."

I am thankful for imagination and inventiveness. This device didn't start out as a cheese cutter. In fact, my friend just experimented with construction until he was happy. Then, when the middle fell once, he knew it was a cheese cutter he had made.

Kids seem to have an endless supply of ideas and imagination. Somewhere along the way we adults suppress or lose that. I'm thankful I have young friends to keep my imagination sharper. (Hopefully as sharp as a cheese cutter!)

I am grateful for imagination and ideas...from the young and not so young.

Those Who Help and Serve and Cure

I took Cindy to a doctor's appointment and sat in the lobby, waiting for her to finish. It was fairly early in the morning, so I spent more time sitting and thinking than reading. I watched people moving purposefully around the space. I thought about being thankful. I am thankful for medical professionals and all the work they do, tasks that are life-saving and tasks that seem small but really aren't.

Over the past 18 months, I have seen, listened to, and dealt with many different people who work in the medical field. Doctors, nurses, technicians, therapists, aides as well as receptionists, appointment clerks, and medical records personnel. Almost to a person, they have been kind and helpful. They explain things and answer questions - even ones that I'm sure they think are trivial. They listen and look for solutions when needed. They use their knowledge and skills to help and to heal.

Through God's grace, they are the reason that my wife is here...and she can hear.

In a time when laws and rules and guidelines seem to make things more difficult, I've seen these men and women find a way to help and serve and cure.

I am so thankful for all those who give their lives in service to the sick and injured.

Mintmobile

Yesterday I drove Cindy downtown to do some work - and later drove back downtown to get her. Now people drive crazy here in Nashville, especially on the interstates. I had drivers cutting in and out in front of me. One practically stopped on the interstate because he didn't merge over into the right lane early enough before a split in the road. Off the interstate, we actually saw a driver turn and drive down the wrong side of the road to take a shortcut to where he wanted to go.

After my morning drive, I was angry. I felt pretty much angry throughout the day and got another dose in the afternoon when I drove downtown the second time. One thing I've learned - anger does not bring joy. Joy comes when I have contentment and thankfulness.

So - I decided to combat that anger with gratitude. I am thankful that I have a car that will get me around where I need to go. I'm thankful that I'm able to put fuel in my car so it will go. The little car we have now is what Cindy and I think about as our miracle car.

After the truck was wrecked, we began searching for a replacement vehicle. Cindy saw the mint green car online at a dealership. We both dismissed it as being too small for us. (I want to get in a car, not put it on and wear it.) We kept searching...mostly because the insurance check was a little delayed and that was what we needed to pay the bulk of our "new" car's cost. We drove a few cars and looked at a few others. We almost bought one but it didn't work out.

Cindy went back to her online searching and that mint green car appeared again - still on the market. Cindy contacted the dealer, asking how much the "out the door" total would be. The car had been reduced; in fact the dealer was ready to send it to auction. We went down to check it out. Even though it's a small car, the space for driving (and passengering) is roomier than anything else we'd tried. Total cost was just a little over our insurance amount. We drove out of the dealership with our new Mintmobile.

It's been the perfect car for us. I am so thankful for it. Since I love puns so much, I even call it the Meant-mobile from time to time - it's the car that was meant for us at this moment.

For the next couple of weeks, I'm going to take a page from my friend Linda's practice - and notice the things for which I'm thankful. Being thankful for what I've been given is a great way to celebrate the joy I have.

I am thankful for my little car that dependably gets me where I need to go.

Words Are Powerful

Since I make a living using words, I think they are important. In writing--and a lot of times in speaking--I search for just the right word to convey the meaning I want. Words matter. An action could be unobtrusive or stealthy or sneaky. All mean similar things but those meanings are very different in terms of character or connotation.

Words are powerful. I can remember criticisms I have received years ago. Those words still echo in my brain at times. We tend to recall the words that cut and not the words that compliment.

I remember words I said that I wished were never spoken. Once, when I taught second grade, I made a careless comment to a student. He immediately said, "And I know that I'm to blame for everything that is happening today." He wasn't. I had to apologize to him and hope that I could repair the power of my words.

In recent months, I've been hearing a lot of words from a lot of people. Some of those words were chosen to hurt or harm. And, in some settings, I've tossed around some unkind words, too. As I ponder these things, I remember something the Bible says about words.

I tell you that on the day of judgment people will have to account for every careless word they speak. Matthew 12:36

We are accountable for every careless and thoughtless word--as well as deliberately chosen word--we speak. That gives me pause and even makes me cringe.

I want to practice focusing on the words that heal and uplift -- both when I speak and when I listen to others' words. I will try to focus on the powerful joyful words and put aside those that do not bring joy. I want to speak and write in affirming ways. I want the words I use to be careful and thoughtful, not careless and thoughtless.

And that goes for the words I say to myself as well. I often engage in careless self-talk: That was stupid. You cannot do anything right. No wonder you have few friends. What's wrong with you? Those words are powerful, too. I think I'll have to give an account for those careless words, too, even though I spoke them to myself.

Here are the joyful uplifting words I have today for me: I enjoyed a leisurely morning. I accomplished several tasks on my list. God's grace was affirmed to me as I prayed to Him.

I don't want to be a Pollyanna, avoiding the unpleasant. But I do want to be a wise wordsmith, speaking grace-filled and mercy-filled truth that points others (and myself) to Him.

Absorb the Joy Around You

I'm an agreeable, go-along kind of guy. Well most of the time. My wife may choose to offer rebuttal. But in many cases, I can go with just about any scenario. If someone feels hot and turns on air or feels cold and turns on heat, I can adapt. Most rooms are just fine for me. Whatever the group chooses as a restaurant is fine; I can find something to eat on most menus. I really don't have a favorite food or a favorite restaurant - it depends on what I'm in the mood for if I'm choosing but usually I'll just go along with whatever someone else chooses.

It sounds as if I have no opinions or that I'm a wishy-washy person that just does whatever. Not exactly true. Most of the time it's just not that big of a deal for me. Where we eat or what movie we see isn't that important as long as I get to spend time with the people with me. I guess I'd rather avoid drama and wait for something that I really feel strongly about.

There are several dangers with being an agreeable sort. One of them is that I tend to pull in the emotions around me. If people around me are upbeat, I'll become more upbeat even if I've had a bad day. If people around me are low, I'll become more somber even if I was pretty happy when I arrived.

It's like I am what I experience. I become what is around me.

Maybe that's why I enjoy being with preschoolers so much. They are almost always joyous and excited. Seeing a rainbow or a sparkly dress or a ladybug or a fire truck can ramp up the happiness. And I become more and more happy with them.

Things around me have been a little tough lately. I've experienced some angry people and some sad people. The weather has been dreary. The atmosphere around me a little melancholy. I don't blame others for the way I've been feeling, but being surrounded by difficult circumstances and upset people has caused me to be in more of a fog than I usually am. (Again, my wife may disagree!)

This has made me more committed to finding joy each day - and absorbing that joy inside. My joy today is enjoying unexpected morning off and accomplishing some tasks.  Nothing is better for motivation than checking items off the to-do list.

Today's Joy: Unexpected Free Time

Faithful Doing

It is always amazing to me that, when you start to pay attention to something, it seems to pop up everywhere. Since I have been on my journey of joy, I have heard people talking about joy, seen quotes about joy, and encountered that word or its relatives all over.

Today, as I read "My Utmost for His Highest," I read this:

Joy means the perfect fulfilment of that for which I was created and regenerated, not the successful doing of a thing. The joy Our Lord had lay in doing what the Father sent Him to do.

This has also become a theme for me in recent weeks. Do that for which I am created; fulfill the ministry I've been given. I keep hearing that I need to be about my own work. And in this quote, I see that joy doesn't mean that I have great success in what I'm going. Joy is in being faithful to what I've been assigned,  even if it's a struggle or if obstacles come along.

Yesterday in my homeschool music class, I had fun. But I also had to pull out the stern voice a couple of times. Kids were a little hyped up. (It's probably this crazy weather that gets warm, cold, warm, cold, and so forth.) Anyway, my music class tends to be a little loose and free-flowing. But yesterday seems to be the day that everyone wanted to follow his own agenda and ignore what I was saying or how I was leading. So--the stern voice. (Ominous chord here.)

I wasn't feeling very accomplished or successful when I drove home. It wasn't major failure but I kept trying to figure out what I needed to do differently, to change for next week. I think it was just one of those things. Or they are feeling more comfortable with me. Or it was the end of a long day and they were ready to cut loose. Whatever.

I need to remember that the joy comes not in how successful things go (although I want to do my best). Joy comes as I fulfill what I should be doing - teaching and working with boys and girls, listening to them and learning with them.

Joy isn't pressure to succeed. Joy is realized in the doing of what we've been created to do.

Iguana

Yesterday I spent time with some new groups of preschoolers. When you spend time with preschoolers, you are always going to learn new things. New things about them or new things about how to see the world. Even talking with children I see regularly gives me new insights and new ideas.

As I talked with one of my friends, he was working on a picture. He filled the page with blue (the sky). Then he took a pencil and drew in a figure that I could not see. "It's an iguana," he said. He grabbed a green paint stick to bring the iguana to life on his field of blue.

To make conversation, I made a comment about an iguana looking like a lizard.

"An iguana is a lizard," my friend explained. "It's my favorite lizard." I nodded. Then he said, "Lizard is my favorite animal, and iguana is my favorite lizard."

His comment resonated with me all day. It reminded me of other things I've heard from preschoolers. They tell me their favorite foods or even their "fourth favorite color." Adults don't do this same thing. We may have favorite things, but we don't usually have conversations about them with others. We often do not categorize and list the things we like or enjoy.

Maybe that's why this "journey of joy" for me has been so interesting. I've been able to catalog things that bring joy. I think about my favorite moment of the day or a favorite thing I saw or did. I'm going to start thinking about my favorite things...maybe not telling everyone about them but at least thinking about the favorite things I like and savoring those joys each day.

For the record: My favorite lizard is chameleon. My fourth favorite color is blue (at least today it is).

Not Listening

I read Oswald Chambers regularly. Sometimes every day. Sometimes I miss a couple of days and read things later. I get an email daily from "My Utmost for His Highest," so I can catch up if I miss. Often Chambers really gives me a kick in the pants. Today I read this in my email:

We do not consciously disobey God, we simply do not heed Him. God has given us His commands; there they are, but we do not pay any attention to them, not because of willful disobedience but because we do not love and respect Him.

 Wow. I often don't heed God because I don't have the love and respect for Him that I should. That really hit me. But Chambers wasn't finished with me yet.

We show how little we love God by preferring to listen to His servants only. We like to listen to personal testimonies, but we do not desire that God Himself should speak to us. Why are we so terrified lest God should speak to us? Because we know that if God does speak, either the thing must be done or we must tell God we will not obey Him. If it is only the servant’s voice we hear, we feel it is not imperative.

I often choose to listen to (or read about) what others say related to God and His Word. I don't choose to read the Word myself and listen carefully to what it says. Why? Because then I would have to do something about it or deliberately choose to disobey. When I read something or hear something, I can think that it is just someone else's opinion and discount the truth in it.

I do read the Bible daily. But I sometimes read it to "check off" that from my task list and move on. I don't really listen or heed the word. I'm not trying to be disobedient but just don't have the respect and love for God that I should.

I wasn't going to write today. But when I read this, I knew I had to admit here that I don't heed as I should, that I make excuses far too often, that I disregard the truth that someone speaks because I don't want to hear it.

I'm finding that my search for joy is leading me to be deeper in my relationship with Him. I'm making a "March resolution" to truly listen - to pay attention to what God is saying and to joyfully obey.

Pay Attention to Your Ministry

I often jokingly (well maybe not so jokingly) say that I'm a slow learner when it comes to spiritual things. God often must teach me the same thing over and over and over. Or remind me of things that I "learned" before. Or hit me upside the head with the metaphorical 2 by 4 so I will pay attention. Well, that's happened again for me.

Today I was reading in Colossians 4. At the end of the chapter, Paul is writing messages and greetings to different individuals and groups. One of the very last things that he writes is this: "And tell Archippus, 'Pay attention to the ministry you have received in the Lord, so that you can accomplish it.'" (Colossians 4:17) Hmm.

I don't know who Archippus was. I did a quick search and the only thing I found was that he is a man mentioned by Paul who had some sort of ministry. But I certainly wonder about him now. What was his ministry? Why did Paul feel the need to give this specific message to him (and individually to him)?

I wonder if Archippus was distracted by things happening in his church or culture. I wonder if he was anxious and overwhelmed by the challenges. Or maybe he just wasn't doing what he should be doing. Maybe he was discouraged or rebellious or just tired. Whatever was happening, he needed Paul's encouragement to pay attention to the ministry he had been given so he could accomplish it.

This is the third time in recent days I have heard this similar message.

First, Cindy shared a quote with me from Elizabeth Elliot: “When you don’t know what to do next, just do the thing in front of you.” What is the thing in front of me? The ministry God has given me.

Then a friend encouraged us in a devotion to focus on whatever ministry God has called us to do and not get distracted by other things. Concentrate on what God is telling you to do right now.

Okay, slow learner or not, I think I'm seeing a definite message here. I need to focus on what God has for me to do. Not worry about what someone else is to do. Not worry about or think about or be concerned about other work that needs to be done. What is the ministry I have received from Him?

A few years ago when we started our current journey, I prayed for what I needed to do. I learned four words that sum up my ministry - at least for right now. I posted these words in my office and I see them daily. This is what I need to pay attention to.

WAIT - I need to wait on God and not try to "make things happen."
WRITE - Writing is a gift and a passion from Him. I need to keep on writing, both my assignments and even when I have no assignments.
LISTEN - I must make a concerted effort daily to read the Bible and listen for what God is teaching me. I must also listen to the people around me.
SERVE - Each day I must look for ways to serve others in His name. Opportunities will present themselves if I just pay attention. (There's those words again.)

And when I do these things? I definitely feel His joy.

So I will pay attention to the ministry I have received from God so I can accomplish it. I am Archippus.

Make Space

In Exodus 3, Moses encounters a burning bush, a bush that is on fire but not consumed by the fire. As he approaches to see this unusual sight, God speaks to him from within the bush. God surprised Moses with a new assignment, a new purpose, a new direction for his life.

I've been thinking about this and some other things lately. God is a God of new, and He is always working to bring about new purpose and new direction in us. But, as I look around and inward, I see that I may not be ready for anything new.

I have no space for a surprise from God.

Moses had to leave Egypt, and he spent decades in the desert with sheep. In fact, he wasn't even looking for anything different than what he had when God spoke. But Moses had room for God's surprise. He had time to think and space for something new. In fact, he had so much "space" that he created several objections to this new thing.

I have the opposite problem. (Well I can create objections pretty well, too.) I have so much stuff crowded into my life that I probably wouldn't even see a bush burning along my path. Or if I did, I wouldn't stop to check it out. I would need to get to the next thing.

My schedule is quite full. My physical space is plenty full. My heart and spirit are crowded with emotions resulting from things happening recently.

I have no space for a surprise from God.

That's my current message - the one that keeps playing in my head. Get things in order. Make space. Get rid of stuff. Create an open area where I can breathe and rest and prepare for whatever may come.

I wrote recently about having physical, mental, and spiritual clutter that I need to sort things out. Now I have even more reason for sprucing up.

I need to make space. I need to be ready. A surprise from God could be coming.

Meandering

We love road trips. Our favorite type of vacation is driving around in the car. We may have an ultimate destination in mind or a scheduled stop at some point. But mostly we drive along the roads, seeing things we've never seen before, stopping when we choose to stop, looking for local unusual places to see or eat.

We like to travel the backroads. Interstates are great for getting somewhere fast. But the backroads are great for seeing the beautiful and the unusual. Pace is slower and the roadsides are often greener. We like driving through the small towns, even if we never stop in one. Something about that pace just seems more inviting (if you are not trying to get to a place at a certain time).

Sometimes we will just take a different road. "Go on an adventure," we say. Our motto is that if we get someplace where we can't continue, we can always turn around and go back to another route.

I'm learning that God is a more backroads traveler, too. In my spiritual journey, I want to jump on the interstate and drive straight there, no stops and no detours. That's my tendency. But those spiritual roads are rarely a smooth straight shot. In my spiritual adventure, I seem to weave through the countryside and travel at a much slower (than I think I should) pace.

But that's where the life really is. I discover so much more on those spiritual meanderings. I learn more about God and about myself, more dependence on Him and more growth for me.

At times I do hit a spiritual interstate and things move fast. But that usually happens only after I've stocked up and lived out life on those slower twists and turns. The backroads prepare me for those interstate bursts.

I'm not sure this all makes much sense. Maybe I've stretched a metaphor too far. But I am learning that--like many vacations--the joy in my spiritual journey comes in the traveling as much or more than arriving at the destination.

The Key to Joy

Paul wrote: "I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content--whether well-fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:11-13)

Paul learned that God strengthened him to do anything, to deal with anything, so he was content in all circumstances. In a recent Bible study, the author commented about being content. And then he said that if you wished for things to be different, you were not content. Uh oh.

I say that I trust God in all things. I say that I believe God is in control, that He is sovereign. I say that He will work out all things for His glory. If I truly believe all of that, why do I so often wish that things were different than they are. I must be content in whatever circumstance I find myself (as Paul said). And, even if it is not the circumstance that I would have chosen, I should not yearn for things to be different. Discontent undermines, leaving a crack for the enemy to wedge in and disrupt joy.

I must rest, content in where God has placed me; rest in the sovereign hand that knows what is, what was, and what will be; receive the strength that allows me to endure prevail over whatever comes. In that contentment is my joy.

That doesn't mean that I am happy about everything that happens. (Happiness isn't the same as joy.) That doesn't mean that I do not hurt or mourn at brokenness and loss. But underneath all of the emotions that stir inside us is that abiding joy and strength that comes from Him.

His strength = ability to do all things = content in whatever circumstance = joy

Sweating with the Preschoolers

Today we got a workout. I had music with 3s and, for some reason (they are 3), I planned lots of movement activities. We waved scarves to fast and slow music. We marched with our scarves, reversing direction several times. We sang a song and pretended to play instruments. We moved like different animals to some grooving music. We "popped up" (which is their favorite thing to do ever). And we sang that traditional movement song (with related movements) "Father Abraham."

"I'm sweaty, Mr. Scott," several of my friends told me. I was, too.

In between those movement activities, we had some sit-down songs, too. We sang one song about growing and moved our hands up as if we were growing. One boy kept pushing his hands through his hair. I asked him about it. "My hair is growing," he replied. I completely understood what he was doing.

One group of 3s wanted to sit close today. So I was surrounded by children, all sitting within arm's reach. I introduced the song "Kookaburra" to them. The song played and I moved slightly back and forth as I sang among the children. It suddenly popped into my mind that I felt like Mr. Rogers, singing and talking with children. I felt in my element.

My joy today was being with those 3s. And seeing the other age groups as they came into the center or when I peeked into their rooms. I know I write a lot about music with preschoolers. But I had no idea how blessed I would be this year with this opportunity.

In months that have had ups and downs, anxieties, and some sadness, I've been gifted with opportunities for welcoming smiles and excited voices, ready to tell me what they brought for Show and Tell or what they saw just outside. I've been given a place where I feel I truly belong.

In a time of searching for joy, I've received more than I could have imagined.

Looking for It

I spent every day for a month looking for the joys - large and small - and found something each time. This current month I have not specifically searched for something each day - and you know what, I haven't seen something every day. I'm not saying it wasn't there. I'm say that I didn't see it.

We are a funny lot. We see the things that we are looking for. We tend to miss things that are right in front of us. This is a trait that we use for good and bad. If we suspect something, we see all evidence of it. If we want something, we see its traces everywhere. If we don't like something, it pops up everywhere we look.

So...I want to continue to see joy. I want to see evidence of God's glory. I want to see His hand at work. So I'm looking for those things.

When I sat down to write this today, I was feeling a little down. That's why I began to write about looking for joy. And you know what, several things suddenly appeared in my head.

• I spent the day working on things that I love to do. I worked on preschool curriculum, and I think that teaching young kids is just about the best thing ever.
• I got to work in my sweatpants. I get to wear my comfy clothes many days since I work at home. (And believe me, no one wants to see me in my sweatpants.)
• I had doughnuts for breakfast. Not a big deal in the overall scheme of things...but still something good.
• I got up this morning. This day wasn't promised to me and God gave it to me anyway.
• I read my Bible this morning. And I could. No one protested or threatened me because of it.
• I got to talk to my wife. She's here, not in a hospital sick or worse. She can hear my voice thanks to the grace of God and technology.

There's more, so much more that I could say. 

Is there stuff on the other side? Of course. I could probably easily list things to be upset or sad about. But I find those all too easily.

I'm just going to keep looking for the joy every day. (And maybe write it here.)

The Road

I'm continue to learn or maybe relearn that the road that God has us traveling on is not always an easy-to-understand path. It can be difficult or confusing or even hurtful. But with Him it is the road we should travel.

Several years ago I started down what I believed was a right road, a new turning point in my life. Shortly after that I ran into a dead end. That road ended - and not by my choice. I wandered confused and waiting. And waited for a while until I realized that my "waiting room" was my new path. I still don't understand all that happened then or why things happened as they did - but I know that the changes I experienced were preparations for what came next.

I'm now in another part of the journey where I'm not sure why things are happening as they are. But God's thoughts and God's ways are not the same as mine. And even when I don't understand or can't understand, I can trust in Him. Seek the path He is lighting for me.

A few years ago, in that before time, I started writing a poem. I found it again today and refined it some. It speaks to where I was...and in different ways where I am today.

The Road

The twisty turning road

Seems to lead to nowhere

What was a bright and shining path

Has dimmed, a shady cul-de-sac

The wait that held promise, full and new, 

The wait that caught excited breath

Now seems interminable

A long pause with no resolution

The connection that brought new understanding

New ways to know both self and God

That connection now is frayed

With garbled messages at best

Was it all a mistake, 

A dream that really wasn't right

A turn that shouldn't have been made

A path best left untrod?

No.

The glow of that unfound promise

Continues to burn at horizon’s edge 

This twisty road

Still seems right

Still seems true

Still beckons

Even when it seems I've no more steps to take.

R. Scott Wiley

All the Love You Could Want

Valentines Day has come and gone. It's never been a very important holiday for me/us. Cindy and I will exchange cards or gifts sometimes. But we often express our love for each other throughout the year - with notes or small gifts or kind words or everyday helpful actions. We've never made a big deal of Valentines Day.

This year I had Valentines Day with preschoolers. I made sure to buy socks with hearts to wear on that day. (Socks have become a big deal for me, for some reason.) I wore my red shirt. I watched the children come into the center, wearing red or hearts or other special clothes. Some carried Valentine boxes they made at home; others carried bags of Valentines for their friends.

Throughout the day I received numerous "knee hugs." I saw smiles and smiles - and couldn't help but smiling myself all morning. I heard about new shoes or shirts or whatever was on their minds. It seemed that everyone had something to tell me. One boy raised his hand; he said, "I'm here on my own today." I was confused for a moment until I realized that his twin brother was not sitting next to him. Quite an accomplishment to go places alone when you normally have someone with you.

I heard small voices say "Happy Valentines Day!" I heard loud voices singing and shouting. (It just happens.) I even received a bag of snacks and a card from the 4s.

Someone told me that I would become a rock star when I became the music teacher at the preschool. Now I know exactly what she meant. I walk down the hall and hear my name whispered or called. Sometimes I cause a ruckus in the doorways as I walk by. Or, if I stop to say hello, I can cause disruption.

And the thing is, it doesn't need to be Valentines Day or any other special day. I get all this unconditional love and acceptance each time I show up at the center. I hope I am learning the lessons they are teaching me--be excited to see everyone; tell them that you care about them; accept them just as they are, even if it's a tall lumbering bearded music man.

Being with a group of preschoolers is just about the best place I can be.

Slow Down

Yesterday I took a tumble, a spill down the couple of stairs into my garage. I lay sprawled on the floor, wondering what and how it happened. I picked myself up and went about what I was doing. Luckily I wasn't hurt - a few aches here and there but not much else.

Later, thinking about it, I realized I was rushing around to get things ready for my afternoon class. This was at about 8:00 am. There was no need to rush. I was hurrying for the sake of...saving time later I guess. I'm not sure why I felt such a need to hurry. But that's when I usually make the biggest mistakes. When I rush, my brain is thinking beyond what I am doing. Instead of things about going down the stairs or even collecting what I needed, I was busily preoccupied by things several steps down the road. So I stumbled and tumbled and crashed.

I find myself doing this in lots of different areas of life. I'm rushing mentally and make mistakes in my work...mistakes that slow me down rather than let me get ahead. I rush through reading my Bible so I can check it off my to-do list - and miss the message that God has for me that day. I push kids to finish an activity and miss out on the conversation and insight I would have received - and maybe some great teachable moments that I could have shared.

Too much of my life is in a hurry. I need to slow down and really experience what's happening. Enjoy the moment I'm in. See the joy and beauty in whatever is happening right then. Learn the lessons that are being presented if I'll just take a breath and see them.

I have lots to do but I don't want to look back on a day...or a week...or a life and wonder what I missed because I was in too big of a hurry to get to the next thing.

This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice, savor, enjoy it.

Cleanup

Lately I've been off my game. Things seem to take a little longer when I'm writing or working. I can have difficulty getting motivated or starting something. Everything seems just a little...off.

There may be several reasons for this--not enough sleep or troubling life circumstances or just too many tasks to do. While none of these are real excuses, they could be contributing factors. But I think I know the main reason for this current state. My office is a mess.

My office is my space. It's filled with things that inspire me or help me or things I just like. A few weeks ago I decided to rearrange things. I started moving some things around. But life and work assignments intervened so I just stopped. A piece of furniture is in the middle of the space. A pile of "things to deal with" sits in front of a bookshelf. The "reading and thinking chair" is full of odds and ends waiting for their new homes. Overall, things are in total disarray.

I often have piles of resources or work papers. I sometimes wait to file things away and get a stack. In general, disarray is my go-to decorating choice.

But now - it is ridiculous. (No, I will not take a picture of it for this post.) I keep trying to work on it but "don't have time" since I have work and deadlines and such.

And my physical space is bleeding over into my mental and spiritual space. I have jumbled and piled up thoughts. I have no regular place to retreat for reading and thinking and spiritual respite. I just have physical, mental, spiritual, emotional CLUTTER.

I've mentioned before that God has been teaching me about rest for a while now. I cannot rest in this cluttered environment. I need to take a step back and just toss things out - physical paper, mental anxiety, spiritual worries. I guess spring cleaning is coming early for me this year.

From my reading today:

Blessed be the Lord, for he has heard the sound of my pleading. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. Therefore my heart celebrates, and I give thanks to him with my song. (Psalm 28:6-7)

Goldfish in a Small Hand

A friend told me that I should write about love for the rest of February. I think seeing the evidence of love in the world is a good idea. I don't know if I'll write about it every day but today I definitely want to tell you about an act of love and generosity I experienced yesterday.

After leading music with preschoolers, I put away my materials in the appropriate places. That meant that I walked up and down the hall and looked into classrooms. I stopped by one of the 2s classrooms. They were having a snack. I commented that I needed to get a snack, too.

"You are having goldfish crackers," I said. (I often state the obvious to preschoolers. It's a great conversation starter.) They responded to me and we talked for a minute. They told me that they had eaten chocolate basketballs, too. (Small chocolate balls wrapped in paper that looks like basketballs) "Wow," I said, "that sounds like a special treat." The teacher asked the kids if I needed to have a chocolate basketball, too, and they agreed. She handed me one.

I thanked them and began to unwrap my treat. One of the boys got up from the table and walked toward me. I turned to speak to him and encourage him to sit down again. (Wandering is an occupational hazard with 2s.) As I looked down, he extended his small hand toward me. In it was a goldfish cracker. He brought me one of the crackers from his stack, sharing his snack with me.

I felt extremely special and fortunate. I asked him if I was to eat it. (It's good to make sure with little kids what they are thinking.) He nodded. I took it and he went back to sit down and finish the snack.

I sat in my car to go home. I thought about the small cracker I had eaten, handed to me by a small boy. It was unprompted; no one asked to share cracker with me. It was a spontaneous act of generosity. And I'd say love.

I often joke about how popular I am among the preschool set. I call the 2s my "fan club." But I was humbled by the gift of that child. So many times I'm too concerned about what's mine or what I could lose by caring and giving. I hope I can be as generous and loving as a 2-year-old.

Something from Almost Nothing

Today I spoke with someone about finding resources for teaching preschoolers. I love to use recycled items, turning them into items that kids can use. I love repurposing items, using things for something different from its intended purpose.

We do this all the time. We use drink bottle lids for game pieces, cardboard tubes and pieces for building, water bottles as instruments, and shredded paper as an art medium. Reusing or repurposing things is something I enjoy.

Maybe you know where I'm going with this. But I'll say it anyway. God takes the nothing that I have and makes it into something with His Spirit. That doesn't mean I become something - it means God can make things happen through me. He also can take the circumstances or situations around me and repurpose them for His glory and His will.

That takes a lot of anxiety from me. The sad things that happen around me can be repurposed by God. And these circumstances and situations are not surprising or unknown to Him. God is the ultimate recycler. (I hope that's not blasphemous.) He takes the wreck of our lives and purposes those lives for His good.

He makes us a new creation. (2 Corinthians 5:17) He transforms us. He transforms our situations. He transforms hurt and anger and bewilderment.

May His transformation be at work in me.

Dealing with Change

I have a thing about tradition. Or at least doing things the same way all the time. While growing up, my family had various traditions for Christmas and birthdays. I like that we did the same things all the time. I guess it made me feel secure.

When Cindy and I married, we developed a few traditions of our own. But as time went by and we moved or changed situations or whatever, those things also changed. There are few things that we do the same now. We kind of just go with the flow.

But that doesn't mean I've given up on "doing things the same way all the time." One of my Sunday School guys and I have a tradition or ritual. I always take him downstairs after the session is over (to meet his grandmother). When we get to the stairs to go down, we "race" to the bottom. He gets rid of some energy (he has a lot); my knees get a workout (and complain later usually); and we have some fun time together. It sounds a little silly but I think this has helped us build a better connection.

I like when things are predictable. When things change up, I sometimes get a little antsy until I find a new equilibrium. While I like trying new things, I don't want it to upset my regular stuff. Or at least I want to blend it into my regular stuff and make the new part of the regular.

But the Christian life isn't like that, at least not all the time. God is a God of transformation and that means change. Maybe He's not changing me but He's changing others around me or creating new opportunities so circumstances change. I often feel unsettled or anxious as changes happen. But, when I come out of the other end of the change, I see what God was doing. We understand God's work more looking back than looking forward. That's because we think in ways so different from Him.

Two verses I've been recalling as I'm dealing with changes and anxieties--

"Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)
         Another transition says "Stop fighting and know that I am God."
Stop fighting what He's doing! Be quiet and let Him do His work.

"If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom." (Job 13:5)

         Another translation says "If only you would shut up and let that be your wisdom." 

Stop talking! Self talk or talking with others can create problems that hinder what He's doing.

So I guess I need to rely on Him and be a wise (silent) man. I can't wait to see what He's doing.

Not About Emotion

This has been quite a week. I have felt extremely happy. I have been lower than I can even remember. All in the same week. My heart bursts with joy as I sing with young children and move around and hear their laughter and their comments about things. My heart breaks at ending relationships and failed reconciliations and hurt feelings.

I'll admit it--I tend to be an emotional kind of guy. I'm not sure why but things can hit me very deeply. I get anxious because I want to fix things that just cannot be fixed and help things be "happy" that won't be. So ups and downs are a little normal for me.

But this week, Cindy reminded me that sometimes you just have to let things go. "Easier said than done," I commented (and that's true). But also I have to remember that it's not about how I feel or what I can do. Ultimately God is the one in control. He has it in hand. He will lead me through to whatever end I need to reach.

It's not about emotion; it's about trust in Him.


P.S. For the time being, I'm going to continue to post some thoughts daily. January was for joy. February will not be thematic but will be real.

Pen to Paper

This month of discovering or recognizing joy has been very revealing to me. First, joy is always there. Even in the lamenting times, I see the joy of God or others sustaining and bringing me through. Second, joy can be just about anything that brings light to you. So, as I think about this final day of seeing the joy, I know just what to focus on.

I love writing. I love the feel of pen or pencil or paper. I like to see the words appear on my screen as I type. I see the joy of having something that didn't exist before (and maybe needs not to exist again!). Writing is a personal joy.

When I'm frustrated, I write. When I'm happy and excited, I write. When I don't know what to do, I write until I get an idea. I enjoy writing scenes and scenarios that will never see the light of day, lurking in my notebook or folder, waiting to be read again when I stumble across it. I enjoy writing poems and playing with words. I like writing songs for preschoolers to sing. I write Bible studies and blog posts and notes. I write things that no one else ever reads, that only Cindy reads, and that post that maybe no one reads. I like to get reactions to what I've written but the joy comes by putting fingers to keyboard or pen to paper.

The joy comes from using a talent that I've been given. We each have something that we do that brings joy--singing or playing music, painting, sewing, building things, molding clay, dancing. Those creative joys can fill the dark corners, helping us find a path to joyful living.

And, as a writer I must give the warning: Be careful what you do; it may end up in a story I write.


Today's Joy: Writing and creating

She's My Daily Joy

Throughout this joy exploration, I've been reminded about two constant, daily joys in my life. First is God and His Word. No matter what happens, He gives joy, deep abiding joy that only He can give. Second - my wife is a continual source of joy to me.

The above picture is one of my Christmas gifts from her.  Every time I see it, I smile. I love it. It makes me think of her every day as I work. (I have to post this instead of a picture of her. She won't let me photograph her or at least share photos of her.)

Cindy gives me joy. She laughs at my stupid jokes (even after all this time of marriage). She reminds me of blessings we have in our lives. When I get anxious or distracted, she calms me or kicks me in the pants or both at the same time. She listens when I whine or have legitimate concerns. She gives wise counsel. She challenges me to think about things. She does so many things for me, without asking and without much in return.

She's been my joy for more than 31 years. (That sounds like a long time!) Last year when I could have lost her, I learned even more how much joy she gives me. I only hope that I can return a fraction of joy that she brings to me.

I often hear about people talking about "their other half." Cindy is definitely the one who fits me, who gives me strength in areas where I lack and pulls the best from me for what she needs. I can honestly say she's my daily joy, a true gift from God.

Today's Joy: My wife; I think I'll keep her.

When Something Works

I take a lot of pictures with my phone. Well, not so many now. But I like to take photos of things that I see the kids doing and things they enjoyed.

I was looking through my camera roll today, searching for a certain picture. I saw the one on this page. It's a shot from yesterday's music class; we made bell sticks.

I wanted the kids to make instruments to use with our rhythm activities. I had one idea in mind...and then I saw a picture of something like this on Pinterest. I wanted to do it. So I purchased sticks and beads and chenille stems and bells. I experimented with it and decided to do it.

The kids really loved it. I think they would have made these for the whole hour if I let them...and if I had a few more sticks. I also brought out the markers so they could color the sticks if they chose.

One guy began shaking his as hard as possible - and the chenille stem flew off the stick. (I had tape...just in case.) We taped some of them just to make them more secure.

The kids enjoyed shaking their bells sticks to songs and with the rhythm patterns We didn't have much time to use them because we enjoyed making them for so long. Now they are tucked away in the cabinet, ready for next week. We'll use them for a few weeks and then the kids can take them home.

Just seeing the picture made me smile. I love it when something works out!

Today's Joy: Bell sticks that work...and the photo of them.