Pay Attention to Your Ministry

I often jokingly (well maybe not so jokingly) say that I'm a slow learner when it comes to spiritual things. God often must teach me the same thing over and over and over. Or remind me of things that I "learned" before. Or hit me upside the head with the metaphorical 2 by 4 so I will pay attention. Well, that's happened again for me.

Today I was reading in Colossians 4. At the end of the chapter, Paul is writing messages and greetings to different individuals and groups. One of the very last things that he writes is this: "And tell Archippus, 'Pay attention to the ministry you have received in the Lord, so that you can accomplish it.'" (Colossians 4:17) Hmm.

I don't know who Archippus was. I did a quick search and the only thing I found was that he is a man mentioned by Paul who had some sort of ministry. But I certainly wonder about him now. What was his ministry? Why did Paul feel the need to give this specific message to him (and individually to him)?

I wonder if Archippus was distracted by things happening in his church or culture. I wonder if he was anxious and overwhelmed by the challenges. Or maybe he just wasn't doing what he should be doing. Maybe he was discouraged or rebellious or just tired. Whatever was happening, he needed Paul's encouragement to pay attention to the ministry he had been given so he could accomplish it.

This is the third time in recent days I have heard this similar message.

First, Cindy shared a quote with me from Elizabeth Elliot: “When you don’t know what to do next, just do the thing in front of you.” What is the thing in front of me? The ministry God has given me.

Then a friend encouraged us in a devotion to focus on whatever ministry God has called us to do and not get distracted by other things. Concentrate on what God is telling you to do right now.

Okay, slow learner or not, I think I'm seeing a definite message here. I need to focus on what God has for me to do. Not worry about what someone else is to do. Not worry about or think about or be concerned about other work that needs to be done. What is the ministry I have received from Him?

A few years ago when we started our current journey, I prayed for what I needed to do. I learned four words that sum up my ministry - at least for right now. I posted these words in my office and I see them daily. This is what I need to pay attention to.

WAIT - I need to wait on God and not try to "make things happen."
WRITE - Writing is a gift and a passion from Him. I need to keep on writing, both my assignments and even when I have no assignments.
LISTEN - I must make a concerted effort daily to read the Bible and listen for what God is teaching me. I must also listen to the people around me.
SERVE - Each day I must look for ways to serve others in His name. Opportunities will present themselves if I just pay attention. (There's those words again.)

And when I do these things? I definitely feel His joy.

So I will pay attention to the ministry I have received from God so I can accomplish it. I am Archippus.

Make Space

In Exodus 3, Moses encounters a burning bush, a bush that is on fire but not consumed by the fire. As he approaches to see this unusual sight, God speaks to him from within the bush. God surprised Moses with a new assignment, a new purpose, a new direction for his life.

I've been thinking about this and some other things lately. God is a God of new, and He is always working to bring about new purpose and new direction in us. But, as I look around and inward, I see that I may not be ready for anything new.

I have no space for a surprise from God.

Moses had to leave Egypt, and he spent decades in the desert with sheep. In fact, he wasn't even looking for anything different than what he had when God spoke. But Moses had room for God's surprise. He had time to think and space for something new. In fact, he had so much "space" that he created several objections to this new thing.

I have the opposite problem. (Well I can create objections pretty well, too.) I have so much stuff crowded into my life that I probably wouldn't even see a bush burning along my path. Or if I did, I wouldn't stop to check it out. I would need to get to the next thing.

My schedule is quite full. My physical space is plenty full. My heart and spirit are crowded with emotions resulting from things happening recently.

I have no space for a surprise from God.

That's my current message - the one that keeps playing in my head. Get things in order. Make space. Get rid of stuff. Create an open area where I can breathe and rest and prepare for whatever may come.

I wrote recently about having physical, mental, and spiritual clutter that I need to sort things out. Now I have even more reason for sprucing up.

I need to make space. I need to be ready. A surprise from God could be coming.

Meandering

We love road trips. Our favorite type of vacation is driving around in the car. We may have an ultimate destination in mind or a scheduled stop at some point. But mostly we drive along the roads, seeing things we've never seen before, stopping when we choose to stop, looking for local unusual places to see or eat.

We like to travel the backroads. Interstates are great for getting somewhere fast. But the backroads are great for seeing the beautiful and the unusual. Pace is slower and the roadsides are often greener. We like driving through the small towns, even if we never stop in one. Something about that pace just seems more inviting (if you are not trying to get to a place at a certain time).

Sometimes we will just take a different road. "Go on an adventure," we say. Our motto is that if we get someplace where we can't continue, we can always turn around and go back to another route.

I'm learning that God is a more backroads traveler, too. In my spiritual journey, I want to jump on the interstate and drive straight there, no stops and no detours. That's my tendency. But those spiritual roads are rarely a smooth straight shot. In my spiritual adventure, I seem to weave through the countryside and travel at a much slower (than I think I should) pace.

But that's where the life really is. I discover so much more on those spiritual meanderings. I learn more about God and about myself, more dependence on Him and more growth for me.

At times I do hit a spiritual interstate and things move fast. But that usually happens only after I've stocked up and lived out life on those slower twists and turns. The backroads prepare me for those interstate bursts.

I'm not sure this all makes much sense. Maybe I've stretched a metaphor too far. But I am learning that--like many vacations--the joy in my spiritual journey comes in the traveling as much or more than arriving at the destination.

The Key to Joy

Paul wrote: "I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content--whether well-fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:11-13)

Paul learned that God strengthened him to do anything, to deal with anything, so he was content in all circumstances. In a recent Bible study, the author commented about being content. And then he said that if you wished for things to be different, you were not content. Uh oh.

I say that I trust God in all things. I say that I believe God is in control, that He is sovereign. I say that He will work out all things for His glory. If I truly believe all of that, why do I so often wish that things were different than they are. I must be content in whatever circumstance I find myself (as Paul said). And, even if it is not the circumstance that I would have chosen, I should not yearn for things to be different. Discontent undermines, leaving a crack for the enemy to wedge in and disrupt joy.

I must rest, content in where God has placed me; rest in the sovereign hand that knows what is, what was, and what will be; receive the strength that allows me to endure prevail over whatever comes. In that contentment is my joy.

That doesn't mean that I am happy about everything that happens. (Happiness isn't the same as joy.) That doesn't mean that I do not hurt or mourn at brokenness and loss. But underneath all of the emotions that stir inside us is that abiding joy and strength that comes from Him.

His strength = ability to do all things = content in whatever circumstance = joy

Sweating with the Preschoolers

Today we got a workout. I had music with 3s and, for some reason (they are 3), I planned lots of movement activities. We waved scarves to fast and slow music. We marched with our scarves, reversing direction several times. We sang a song and pretended to play instruments. We moved like different animals to some grooving music. We "popped up" (which is their favorite thing to do ever). And we sang that traditional movement song (with related movements) "Father Abraham."

"I'm sweaty, Mr. Scott," several of my friends told me. I was, too.

In between those movement activities, we had some sit-down songs, too. We sang one song about growing and moved our hands up as if we were growing. One boy kept pushing his hands through his hair. I asked him about it. "My hair is growing," he replied. I completely understood what he was doing.

One group of 3s wanted to sit close today. So I was surrounded by children, all sitting within arm's reach. I introduced the song "Kookaburra" to them. The song played and I moved slightly back and forth as I sang among the children. It suddenly popped into my mind that I felt like Mr. Rogers, singing and talking with children. I felt in my element.

My joy today was being with those 3s. And seeing the other age groups as they came into the center or when I peeked into their rooms. I know I write a lot about music with preschoolers. But I had no idea how blessed I would be this year with this opportunity.

In months that have had ups and downs, anxieties, and some sadness, I've been gifted with opportunities for welcoming smiles and excited voices, ready to tell me what they brought for Show and Tell or what they saw just outside. I've been given a place where I feel I truly belong.

In a time of searching for joy, I've received more than I could have imagined.

Looking for It

I spent every day for a month looking for the joys - large and small - and found something each time. This current month I have not specifically searched for something each day - and you know what, I haven't seen something every day. I'm not saying it wasn't there. I'm say that I didn't see it.

We are a funny lot. We see the things that we are looking for. We tend to miss things that are right in front of us. This is a trait that we use for good and bad. If we suspect something, we see all evidence of it. If we want something, we see its traces everywhere. If we don't like something, it pops up everywhere we look.

So...I want to continue to see joy. I want to see evidence of God's glory. I want to see His hand at work. So I'm looking for those things.

When I sat down to write this today, I was feeling a little down. That's why I began to write about looking for joy. And you know what, several things suddenly appeared in my head.

• I spent the day working on things that I love to do. I worked on preschool curriculum, and I think that teaching young kids is just about the best thing ever.
• I got to work in my sweatpants. I get to wear my comfy clothes many days since I work at home. (And believe me, no one wants to see me in my sweatpants.)
• I had doughnuts for breakfast. Not a big deal in the overall scheme of things...but still something good.
• I got up this morning. This day wasn't promised to me and God gave it to me anyway.
• I read my Bible this morning. And I could. No one protested or threatened me because of it.
• I got to talk to my wife. She's here, not in a hospital sick or worse. She can hear my voice thanks to the grace of God and technology.

There's more, so much more that I could say. 

Is there stuff on the other side? Of course. I could probably easily list things to be upset or sad about. But I find those all too easily.

I'm just going to keep looking for the joy every day. (And maybe write it here.)

The Road

I'm continue to learn or maybe relearn that the road that God has us traveling on is not always an easy-to-understand path. It can be difficult or confusing or even hurtful. But with Him it is the road we should travel.

Several years ago I started down what I believed was a right road, a new turning point in my life. Shortly after that I ran into a dead end. That road ended - and not by my choice. I wandered confused and waiting. And waited for a while until I realized that my "waiting room" was my new path. I still don't understand all that happened then or why things happened as they did - but I know that the changes I experienced were preparations for what came next.

I'm now in another part of the journey where I'm not sure why things are happening as they are. But God's thoughts and God's ways are not the same as mine. And even when I don't understand or can't understand, I can trust in Him. Seek the path He is lighting for me.

A few years ago, in that before time, I started writing a poem. I found it again today and refined it some. It speaks to where I was...and in different ways where I am today.

The Road

The twisty turning road

Seems to lead to nowhere

What was a bright and shining path

Has dimmed, a shady cul-de-sac

The wait that held promise, full and new, 

The wait that caught excited breath

Now seems interminable

A long pause with no resolution

The connection that brought new understanding

New ways to know both self and God

That connection now is frayed

With garbled messages at best

Was it all a mistake, 

A dream that really wasn't right

A turn that shouldn't have been made

A path best left untrod?

No.

The glow of that unfound promise

Continues to burn at horizon’s edge 

This twisty road

Still seems right

Still seems true

Still beckons

Even when it seems I've no more steps to take.

R. Scott Wiley

All the Love You Could Want

Valentines Day has come and gone. It's never been a very important holiday for me/us. Cindy and I will exchange cards or gifts sometimes. But we often express our love for each other throughout the year - with notes or small gifts or kind words or everyday helpful actions. We've never made a big deal of Valentines Day.

This year I had Valentines Day with preschoolers. I made sure to buy socks with hearts to wear on that day. (Socks have become a big deal for me, for some reason.) I wore my red shirt. I watched the children come into the center, wearing red or hearts or other special clothes. Some carried Valentine boxes they made at home; others carried bags of Valentines for their friends.

Throughout the day I received numerous "knee hugs." I saw smiles and smiles - and couldn't help but smiling myself all morning. I heard about new shoes or shirts or whatever was on their minds. It seemed that everyone had something to tell me. One boy raised his hand; he said, "I'm here on my own today." I was confused for a moment until I realized that his twin brother was not sitting next to him. Quite an accomplishment to go places alone when you normally have someone with you.

I heard small voices say "Happy Valentines Day!" I heard loud voices singing and shouting. (It just happens.) I even received a bag of snacks and a card from the 4s.

Someone told me that I would become a rock star when I became the music teacher at the preschool. Now I know exactly what she meant. I walk down the hall and hear my name whispered or called. Sometimes I cause a ruckus in the doorways as I walk by. Or, if I stop to say hello, I can cause disruption.

And the thing is, it doesn't need to be Valentines Day or any other special day. I get all this unconditional love and acceptance each time I show up at the center. I hope I am learning the lessons they are teaching me--be excited to see everyone; tell them that you care about them; accept them just as they are, even if it's a tall lumbering bearded music man.

Being with a group of preschoolers is just about the best place I can be.

Slow Down

Yesterday I took a tumble, a spill down the couple of stairs into my garage. I lay sprawled on the floor, wondering what and how it happened. I picked myself up and went about what I was doing. Luckily I wasn't hurt - a few aches here and there but not much else.

Later, thinking about it, I realized I was rushing around to get things ready for my afternoon class. This was at about 8:00 am. There was no need to rush. I was hurrying for the sake of...saving time later I guess. I'm not sure why I felt such a need to hurry. But that's when I usually make the biggest mistakes. When I rush, my brain is thinking beyond what I am doing. Instead of things about going down the stairs or even collecting what I needed, I was busily preoccupied by things several steps down the road. So I stumbled and tumbled and crashed.

I find myself doing this in lots of different areas of life. I'm rushing mentally and make mistakes in my work...mistakes that slow me down rather than let me get ahead. I rush through reading my Bible so I can check it off my to-do list - and miss the message that God has for me that day. I push kids to finish an activity and miss out on the conversation and insight I would have received - and maybe some great teachable moments that I could have shared.

Too much of my life is in a hurry. I need to slow down and really experience what's happening. Enjoy the moment I'm in. See the joy and beauty in whatever is happening right then. Learn the lessons that are being presented if I'll just take a breath and see them.

I have lots to do but I don't want to look back on a day...or a week...or a life and wonder what I missed because I was in too big of a hurry to get to the next thing.

This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice, savor, enjoy it.

Cleanup

Lately I've been off my game. Things seem to take a little longer when I'm writing or working. I can have difficulty getting motivated or starting something. Everything seems just a little...off.

There may be several reasons for this--not enough sleep or troubling life circumstances or just too many tasks to do. While none of these are real excuses, they could be contributing factors. But I think I know the main reason for this current state. My office is a mess.

My office is my space. It's filled with things that inspire me or help me or things I just like. A few weeks ago I decided to rearrange things. I started moving some things around. But life and work assignments intervened so I just stopped. A piece of furniture is in the middle of the space. A pile of "things to deal with" sits in front of a bookshelf. The "reading and thinking chair" is full of odds and ends waiting for their new homes. Overall, things are in total disarray.

I often have piles of resources or work papers. I sometimes wait to file things away and get a stack. In general, disarray is my go-to decorating choice.

But now - it is ridiculous. (No, I will not take a picture of it for this post.) I keep trying to work on it but "don't have time" since I have work and deadlines and such.

And my physical space is bleeding over into my mental and spiritual space. I have jumbled and piled up thoughts. I have no regular place to retreat for reading and thinking and spiritual respite. I just have physical, mental, spiritual, emotional CLUTTER.

I've mentioned before that God has been teaching me about rest for a while now. I cannot rest in this cluttered environment. I need to take a step back and just toss things out - physical paper, mental anxiety, spiritual worries. I guess spring cleaning is coming early for me this year.

From my reading today:

Blessed be the Lord, for he has heard the sound of my pleading. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. Therefore my heart celebrates, and I give thanks to him with my song. (Psalm 28:6-7)

Goldfish in a Small Hand

A friend told me that I should write about love for the rest of February. I think seeing the evidence of love in the world is a good idea. I don't know if I'll write about it every day but today I definitely want to tell you about an act of love and generosity I experienced yesterday.

After leading music with preschoolers, I put away my materials in the appropriate places. That meant that I walked up and down the hall and looked into classrooms. I stopped by one of the 2s classrooms. They were having a snack. I commented that I needed to get a snack, too.

"You are having goldfish crackers," I said. (I often state the obvious to preschoolers. It's a great conversation starter.) They responded to me and we talked for a minute. They told me that they had eaten chocolate basketballs, too. (Small chocolate balls wrapped in paper that looks like basketballs) "Wow," I said, "that sounds like a special treat." The teacher asked the kids if I needed to have a chocolate basketball, too, and they agreed. She handed me one.

I thanked them and began to unwrap my treat. One of the boys got up from the table and walked toward me. I turned to speak to him and encourage him to sit down again. (Wandering is an occupational hazard with 2s.) As I looked down, he extended his small hand toward me. In it was a goldfish cracker. He brought me one of the crackers from his stack, sharing his snack with me.

I felt extremely special and fortunate. I asked him if I was to eat it. (It's good to make sure with little kids what they are thinking.) He nodded. I took it and he went back to sit down and finish the snack.

I sat in my car to go home. I thought about the small cracker I had eaten, handed to me by a small boy. It was unprompted; no one asked to share cracker with me. It was a spontaneous act of generosity. And I'd say love.

I often joke about how popular I am among the preschool set. I call the 2s my "fan club." But I was humbled by the gift of that child. So many times I'm too concerned about what's mine or what I could lose by caring and giving. I hope I can be as generous and loving as a 2-year-old.

Something from Almost Nothing

Today I spoke with someone about finding resources for teaching preschoolers. I love to use recycled items, turning them into items that kids can use. I love repurposing items, using things for something different from its intended purpose.

We do this all the time. We use drink bottle lids for game pieces, cardboard tubes and pieces for building, water bottles as instruments, and shredded paper as an art medium. Reusing or repurposing things is something I enjoy.

Maybe you know where I'm going with this. But I'll say it anyway. God takes the nothing that I have and makes it into something with His Spirit. That doesn't mean I become something - it means God can make things happen through me. He also can take the circumstances or situations around me and repurpose them for His glory and His will.

That takes a lot of anxiety from me. The sad things that happen around me can be repurposed by God. And these circumstances and situations are not surprising or unknown to Him. God is the ultimate recycler. (I hope that's not blasphemous.) He takes the wreck of our lives and purposes those lives for His good.

He makes us a new creation. (2 Corinthians 5:17) He transforms us. He transforms our situations. He transforms hurt and anger and bewilderment.

May His transformation be at work in me.

Dealing with Change

I have a thing about tradition. Or at least doing things the same way all the time. While growing up, my family had various traditions for Christmas and birthdays. I like that we did the same things all the time. I guess it made me feel secure.

When Cindy and I married, we developed a few traditions of our own. But as time went by and we moved or changed situations or whatever, those things also changed. There are few things that we do the same now. We kind of just go with the flow.

But that doesn't mean I've given up on "doing things the same way all the time." One of my Sunday School guys and I have a tradition or ritual. I always take him downstairs after the session is over (to meet his grandmother). When we get to the stairs to go down, we "race" to the bottom. He gets rid of some energy (he has a lot); my knees get a workout (and complain later usually); and we have some fun time together. It sounds a little silly but I think this has helped us build a better connection.

I like when things are predictable. When things change up, I sometimes get a little antsy until I find a new equilibrium. While I like trying new things, I don't want it to upset my regular stuff. Or at least I want to blend it into my regular stuff and make the new part of the regular.

But the Christian life isn't like that, at least not all the time. God is a God of transformation and that means change. Maybe He's not changing me but He's changing others around me or creating new opportunities so circumstances change. I often feel unsettled or anxious as changes happen. But, when I come out of the other end of the change, I see what God was doing. We understand God's work more looking back than looking forward. That's because we think in ways so different from Him.

Two verses I've been recalling as I'm dealing with changes and anxieties--

"Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)
         Another transition says "Stop fighting and know that I am God."
Stop fighting what He's doing! Be quiet and let Him do His work.

"If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom." (Job 13:5)

         Another translation says "If only you would shut up and let that be your wisdom." 

Stop talking! Self talk or talking with others can create problems that hinder what He's doing.

So I guess I need to rely on Him and be a wise (silent) man. I can't wait to see what He's doing.

Not About Emotion

This has been quite a week. I have felt extremely happy. I have been lower than I can even remember. All in the same week. My heart bursts with joy as I sing with young children and move around and hear their laughter and their comments about things. My heart breaks at ending relationships and failed reconciliations and hurt feelings.

I'll admit it--I tend to be an emotional kind of guy. I'm not sure why but things can hit me very deeply. I get anxious because I want to fix things that just cannot be fixed and help things be "happy" that won't be. So ups and downs are a little normal for me.

But this week, Cindy reminded me that sometimes you just have to let things go. "Easier said than done," I commented (and that's true). But also I have to remember that it's not about how I feel or what I can do. Ultimately God is the one in control. He has it in hand. He will lead me through to whatever end I need to reach.

It's not about emotion; it's about trust in Him.


P.S. For the time being, I'm going to continue to post some thoughts daily. January was for joy. February will not be thematic but will be real.

Pen to Paper

This month of discovering or recognizing joy has been very revealing to me. First, joy is always there. Even in the lamenting times, I see the joy of God or others sustaining and bringing me through. Second, joy can be just about anything that brings light to you. So, as I think about this final day of seeing the joy, I know just what to focus on.

I love writing. I love the feel of pen or pencil or paper. I like to see the words appear on my screen as I type. I see the joy of having something that didn't exist before (and maybe needs not to exist again!). Writing is a personal joy.

When I'm frustrated, I write. When I'm happy and excited, I write. When I don't know what to do, I write until I get an idea. I enjoy writing scenes and scenarios that will never see the light of day, lurking in my notebook or folder, waiting to be read again when I stumble across it. I enjoy writing poems and playing with words. I like writing songs for preschoolers to sing. I write Bible studies and blog posts and notes. I write things that no one else ever reads, that only Cindy reads, and that post that maybe no one reads. I like to get reactions to what I've written but the joy comes by putting fingers to keyboard or pen to paper.

The joy comes from using a talent that I've been given. We each have something that we do that brings joy--singing or playing music, painting, sewing, building things, molding clay, dancing. Those creative joys can fill the dark corners, helping us find a path to joyful living.

And, as a writer I must give the warning: Be careful what you do; it may end up in a story I write.


Today's Joy: Writing and creating