Seeing Joy in the Past

I was listening to Pandora today. A specific song came on and I was immediately transported back about 6 years. That year I was struggling in a place where I was following a dream. But things were hard. Everything seemed hard. And every morning (it seemed) as I drove to my place, I heard a particular song*. That song gave me a boost to continue in what I was doing. I was reassured that, one day, things would fall into place.

I kept trying my best. I did all I knew to do and tried to do other things in new ways. I saw some successes and some failures. Everything was still hard. But I continued on.

Then my principal came into the room and told me he would not renew my contract for the next year. This was the same week my wife had a terrible car accident and lay in the hospital. And a couple of weeks after the principal had said he was renewing me. He changed his mind.

Driving to the hospital after work, I heard that song again. It seemed ironic and comforting at the same time.

As I heard the song today, I looked back at those 6 years. I rejoiced that the principal did not renew my contract. I know that if he had, I would have struggled in that teaching position for at least another year. I would have missed other opportunities that I now have. That failure (in my mind if not in actuality) was preparation for me today. Because of that struggle I now jump and move and dance with preschoolers. Because of those experiences, I ended up making a living as a writer and editor. Becoming self-employed freed me to care for Cindy then and later when she was so sick.

Today's joy is a past loss that led to so much more gain. (I rejoice in the God who holds all in His hand and directs us to successes and failures as He sees fit.)


*The song? Overcomer by Mandisa