Contentment

It's been a while since I posted. I've had interviews but no jobs. And that's okay. Here's part of the reason why.

A few weeks ago I read something about contentment - that lack of contentment is the reason we struggle spiritually. As I've pondered that, I've realized that being content is what God has been teaching me throughout this adventure.

I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content--whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:11-13)

When I'm content, I am joyful where I am. This point in my journey is enough. If I'm continuing to hope for something different or keep looking for what's next, am I really content? Doesn't a seed of discontent still exist if I'm wanting (even a little) a different situation or future?

I still pray and look for God's leading. I listen for what He wants us to do. As a believer, I should always be doing this.

But I am satisfied with where I am now. I am looking to enjoy my current place in our journey.

We may be at this station for a few more months. Or years. Being content is resting in God's sovereignty, knowing that where we are now is where we should be. Knowing that God's hand is in our journey - every step along the way. Knowing that God is not surprised at what happens to us.

I am releasing my own expectations of what should be happening. I will not hold on to "what ifs" or to my plans. I will not try to do things to bring about the next step. God is in control and I can rest in that. My circumstances don't matter. My feelings don't matter. My faith, my confidence, my hope rest on Him. I can be content wherever I am because of who He is.

The old hymn "Ready" (A.C. Palmer) comes to mind. The refrain of that hymn---

Ready to go, ready to stay,
Ready my place to fill;
Ready for service lowly or great,
Ready to do His will.

God Is Always Working

"On the day I called, You answered me; You increased strength within me." (Psalm 138:3)

Recently Psalm 138 has become my go-to passage. I read it regularly, daily. The verse above has become particularly meaningful to me.

School will be starting here soon. Cindy and I were talking last week about the fact that I have had zero calls or interviews for this upcoming school year. Zero. "I think that is unexpected," I said. "That no one would contact me. That there wouldn't be at least one principal who called for an interview. Especially since I've contacted some of them when I knew about openings." As we talked, I told her that I had a realization. It must be God at work. He is working out His plan (not our plan). And I am content to continue on as I am. I enjoy writing. I enjoy editing. God has continued to multiply our flour and oil, giving us what we need and more.

Then, earlier this week, my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number and tried to answer it. The phone stopped ringing before I could answer. In a time shorter than voice mail would pick up. Hmm, I thought. Then I did something that I sometimes do; I did a reverse lookup online. That number was an elementary school. Someone called and then hung up.

It's interesting what can get me on the anxiety train. I kept thinking about that phone call. The one that was missed, for whatever reason. The one I didn't get. What if. I wonder. Over and over in my head.

I had to keep reminding myself of a truth that I learned years ago: God is bigger than anything else. He is bigger than missed calls or electronic flubs. If that's a direction that I should pursue, the call will come again. I put it out of my mind. Until it would sneak back in.

I knew that God would work His will. I knew that I was content to write and not teach in a classroom. But I also remember the dream that I feel God has given me - to be a classroom teacher. So the thoughts would come back. I prayed to give those anxious thoughts to God. And no call came.

Yesterday morning I woke up thinking and praying about this. "God," I said, "I know that You are in control. I know that You are bigger than anything. I know that if no call ever comes, You are still God and still working in our lives." I took a deep breath. "I want Your will above all. But I really want a call. As I understand things at this moment, I want a call. But I give it to You."

I put it aside mentally. I moved on into my day. A couple of hours later, I got a call from a principal. She wanted to know if I could come for an interview that morning, in just two hours. I said yes. The interview seemed to go well. She said she wants to make a decision by the end of the week.

On the way home, I checked my phone. A missed call and a message. From a number I didn't recognize. I pulled over to listen to the message. Another school. Wondering if I could come for an interview on Monday. I called back and left a message saying I was interested and available. As I started for home, the phone rang again. It was the second school. "What is your schedule today?" she asked. "Could you come this afternoon?" So I went to a second interview. That went well, too.

I asked for a call. I got two calls. I don't know if either will be what God wants me to do. I see positives in both possibilities. I would take either.

But, as I marveled again at God's provision and God's answers, I learned what I really need to keep in mind. God is always at work. God is at work when there are calls. God is at work when there are no calls. If I learn anything through our journey, it will be that God is sovereign, always at work in our lives. Even when we can't see Him. Even when we don't realize it.

And sometimes He overabundantly reassures us that He's at work.

(We thank you for your prayers for us. Please pray that we will be obedient, recklessly obedient, in whatever and wherever God leads.)

Keep On Following

This is Cindy posting on the blog today.

I have been pondering so many things these past few weeks, especially since the SCOTUS decision at the end of June. It seems that our world is going downhill as super speed. Our culture is becoming increasingly self-focused, moving farther and farther away from God.  My first reaction to the SCOTUS ruling: We are all doomed! Our nation is going down the drain! We are done! I know, a little dramatic, right?

Then it hit me. I am a Christ follower. I have the Holy Spirit living in me. I have God’s Word to give me comfort and guidance. For a few minutes I had forgotten an important fact—God is sovereign and everything that happens is ordained by God. Everything that happens is ordained by God. EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IS ORDAINED BY GOD!

If I know that God is in control, what should be my response? Should I sit back and let God do His thing? Should I passively watch as the world continues to go awry? This is not the response God requires of His children. What should we do?

In John 15:18-25, Jesus tell His disciples they will face persecutions. The world hates the gospel. As followers of Christ, we will also face persecution. People will hate us because of what we stand for. People will call us haters because we cannot agree with their behaviors. We will be accused of being judgmental because we refuse to accept their way of life. But as followers of Christ we are called to stand apart, no matter the cost. But not only that, we are called to love others, especially our enemies. We are called to be witnesses to the sacrifice of love Christ made for us.

 I truly believe that the recent events point to Christ’s eminent return. He may return in my lifetime, but it may be many years, even centuries before His return. Even so, we should feel an urgency to spread the gospel. We should feel the urgency about strengthening our resolve to stand strong for the cause of Christ. We should fee the urgency to pray for our world that people would turn toward the One True God. We should be reckless in our obedience to follow Jesus.

But If Not

Do you remember sermons? I remember concepts but rarely do I remember long parts of sermons. I may go back and read notes from sermons - and then I remember more specifics. But there's one sermon that I remember that I have no notes for. A sermon from our previous pastor, not our current one. Evidently a sermon that I must need to remember.

The passage: Daniel 3. The story: A king builds a statue that all should worship. Three men of God do not. The king says that a fiery furnace awaits if they will not bow down. He gives then another chance. They refuse. He tosses them in the overheated furnace. They are delivered. He recognizes that their God is the mighty God.

But the sermon didn't focus on the deliverance. It focused on the men's response to the king when he questioned them. They said that God could rescue them from the furnace and the king. Then they said: "But if not, we will not serve other gods or worship your statue."

But if not....

Those words have echoed in my head throughout this past year. God can do ______ but if not we will still praise Him.

I can think of wonderful ways for God to move in our lives. I can hear of an opportunity and create a grandiose plan for what will happen. I sometimes ask for a sign that I'm on the right track. Sometimes I struggle with what's happening. I'm not sure what or why things are happening the way they are.

However, God is still God. He will deliver and He will guide.

But if not.

I know that God is still Sovereign. He still is on His throne. And we will praise and trust Him.

Do Not Be Afraid

"I sought the LORD and He answered me,

He delivered me from all my fears."
(Psalm 34:4)

It's funny how words you memorized years ago can come back at a moment's notice. I memorized the above verse a long time ago. I even created a small song about it so I could remember it easily. But I haven't thought about it for a long while. Today, I was reading something online and read a similar verse and that song echoed in my head.

And it made me realize that I needed this verse right now.

Do you have fears? In this time of adventure, I do. Fears, worries, anxieties, concerns. Call them whatever you will. But I do fear or worry that no one will ever consider me for a teaching job again. I worry that somewhere along the line I missed or misunderstood God's leadership. I fear what people think of me when they see me. I fear that maybe I'm failing my family by not doing more. I fear that doing too much is a lack of faith and trust in God to do His work.

See. Lots of fears and worries. 

And then I remembered and read this verse again. Seeking God is the deliverance from fears. More of Him is less of all that...stuff.

Cindy and I were talking the other day. It's amazing how many times God or His messenger says, "Do not be afraid." He said it to Abraham and to Isaac. He said it to the Israelites as they left Egypt and wandered in the wilderness. He said it several times to Joshua as Joshua began his new leadership role. He said it to Mary when she heard about His plan for Jesus' birth. He said it to Joseph about the marriage to Mary. He said it to the shepherds at the announcement of that birth. He says it to us today.

The remedy to being afraid? Seeking God. Calling on Him and listening to Him.

Those times of anxiety? Seek Him. Those times of discouragement? Seek Him. Worries and troubles? Seek God. 

God is Sovereign and God is in control. There is no reason to fear. Do not be afraid.

(Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go spend some seeking time.)

Back to the Same Thing

In John 21, Peter and other disciples were in Galilee. Peter decided to go fishing and the others join him. All night long, they fish and catch nothing.

Jesus called to them from the shore. (They didn't recognize Him.) Jesus said to put the nets on the other side of the boat. They caught a netful of fish.

I'm sure you know the rest of the story. Peter swam to shore after John said the man was Jesus. The others came in the boat, bringing all those fish. Jesus was cooking breakfast for the men. They ate together. Jesus restored Peter by asking him, "Do you love Me?" three times.

There's a lot in this Bible passage, a lot to digest and learn from. But one thing has been sticking with me about this passage, something that I haven't pondered a lot before.

Peter was sitting around and decided to go back to what he had done before. He chose to do this...after seeing the empty tomb and the risen Christ. He went back to fishing. Was he going backward? Going back to what he knew when things had taken an unexpected turn? Did he think his ministry was over?

As I thought about this, I realized something else. He was unsuccessful in going back. He caught nothing all night. The only time he caught fish was when he listened to Jesus.

BAM!

Lately I've been trying to figure out what to do. I sometimes think I need to go back to some things that worked for me in the past. I try some of the "old" ways, not sinful or wrong ways, but things that were successful in the past.

But those things won't work for me if Jesus isn't in it. Success = following God and His way. As I think and wonder about what to do, I must be willing to let go of those easy, fall-back things. I'll come up empty every time.

Easy answers are so often my way. We must listen and follow God's way. And that means moving forward into new, uncharted territory.

Not a Formula

My pastor said something this week that really resonated with me: You cannot reduce God down to a formula. We do not have faith in a formula but in a person. 

I think this is what I've been trying to do lately. I have finished my degree. I've done other "steps" as I see them appear. Now I should get the result I want.

This plus that plus the other thing equals my expected result.

But that's not God. God works in His own way and at His own time. He is not linear. He is God.

My anxiety has been climbing in recent days. I think it's because I see or hear of classmates getting jobs or moving on to the next stage. People ask me about my own future steps.

And I don't see anything changing yet. Still waiting....

When I look back at Scripture, I see people in a waiting mode. Moses spent 40 years as a shepherd in the wilderness. I wonder if at year 2 or year 10 or year 25, Moses thought: "Okay. I'm ready to move on. This sheep-watching has been interesting and rewarding but I'm ready for the next stage."

Joseph spent a long while in an Egyptian prison. At one point, he saw what he thought was the way out. "Remember me when you are back with Pharaoh," he told the cupbearer after interpreting a dream. The man said he would, but forgot him for 3 years.

God is not a formula or a checklist. "I did this and did that. I went here. I waited there. I herded sheep. I was faithful even in prison. Now I'll get my due."

Not the way God works.

And my due is nothing but death. I don't deserve anything that I have already received from God. And continue to receive. God continues to bless. Why do I feel restless or discontent? Why do I focus on what hasn't happened rather than what has?

I am truly grateful for what God has given us. He has continued to show us His faithfulness and blessing. I'm sure in ways that I don't even see. That's where I need to rest. I need to keep working where God has led me at this point.

I will trust the person and stop trying to find the formula.