Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Blessing or Burden?
But I'm not. At least not always.
Recently we've had a few large "walls" loom up. One in particular has been weighing on my mind. (No regular job, no health insurance.)
We've been dealing with things and praying about things. Last week, a solution appeared. A solution that is fairly seamless with our past insurance. One that is probably the best solution I could ask for. But it cost more than I really was planning on spending. Now, the cost wasn't out of line with other options that I've looked at - those were more than I really wanted, too.
So I began to grumble - at least to myself. And then I woke up to what I was doing. Here was an answer to my prayer; here was a great solution that means we don't start over at 0 this late in the year. And the part I was complaining about? God has already shown to us His ability to provide what we need.
A Christian song from a few years ago includes the line "bearing gifts as if they're burdens." So many times I'm guilty of this. God gives me a wonderful gift or blessing - and I look at it as something to bear, as a punishment or a liability.
When I think about grumbling, and seeing blessings as burdens, I think about the Israelites journeying through the wilderness. They had not been out of Egypt and across the Red Sea for long before they began to complain. "We should have died in Egypt, where we sat beside pots of meat and ate all the bread we wanted. Now we'll die here of hunger!" So God sent manna, bread from heaven that appeared each morning. (See Exodus 16.)
Later they complained about this food. "We ate fish and cucumbers, melons, leeks, and onions when we were in Egypt. Now all we have is this manna! Give us meat." Moses even began to complain about the people to God. God sent quail for the people to eat. (See Numbers 11.)
They complained about what God sent them to sustain them. They grumbled and wanted something different. They even longed to go back to where they had it so good - Egypt. (But...it really wasn't so good; they were slaves who were being systematically killed.)
That's what I was doing, too. Looking at the answer God provided - that would be covered by the resources He provided - and grumbled that I had to use those resources for that answer. Hmm. Not really a burden, huh? More like seeing God's hand continuing to work - giving resources and answering prayers in ways only He can. Sustaining us through a time that could be very trying and yet isn't. Being the God who leads, the God who provides, the God who sustains.
I'm thankful for a God who hears whatever grumbles (or "concerns") we have and provides a way for us. I am thankful for the answer - the blessing - He has sent to us. And we will lean on Him to continue to provide for our needs.
I pray that I see each blessing that God gives with a truly thankful heart.