I remember times when I was more faithful to pray. I see times when it seems I was more connected to God than I sometime feel now. I wonder if my life was more as it should be with God than it is now. However, as I prayed and pondered on these things, a new thought gave me pause. Maybe, in my continual journey with God, I am more aware of things in my life that are not what they should be.
Maybe as I mature, I see areas that need attention. I see where my pride fuels actions. I see times I neglected to act as God would lead. I am more attuned to the pull of disobedience. As God chisels away things in my life, more of the underneath is brought out, areas that laid hidden but now have seen exposed to His light.
So I rejoice in these newly discovered areas. I do not rejoice that I am still immature and worldly. But I rejoice that God is at work, helping me discover them and, hopefully, releasing them to become more as He would have me to be.
Today I read these words from the hymn "God of Grace and God of Glory." This is the third verse (you know, the one that Baptists often skip!).
Cure your children's warring madness;bend our pride to your control;shame our wanton, selfish gladness,rich in things and pour in soul.Grant us wisdom, grant us courage,lest we miss your kingdom's goal,lest we miss your kingdom's goal. --Henry Emerson Fosdick
These words, written in 1930, could have been penned today. Often our society - and we Christians in our society - focus on selfishness and pride, rich in things but poor in soul. I see God working on my own selfishness and pride, things that I did not (maybe chose not) to see in years past. Or maybe I was just too busy focusing on other things that needed to be chiseled away.
A large part of our journey now has been trusting God and not ourselves. I pray that God would work to keep me focused on His kingdom's goal and not on my own selfish ambitions or my own ideas of what should be happening in my life.