Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Choices

Where do you do your best thinking? Or maybe your most thinking? For me (Scott), it has to be when driving. (Especially alone. Cindy likes me to talk to her when we're traveling around town together.)

Recently I heard a song that included lyrics about making choices and having regrets. I began thinking about that. A lot. I certainly regret making choices to sin, doing those things that break my connection with God.

But, aside from those choices, I pondered if there are choices that I regretted, that I would do differently if faced with the same choice again (even knowing what I know now that resulted from those choices). For example, would I still go to teach first grade (knowing that I would be where I am today - outside the classroom and working freelance)? I really thought about it. And yes, I would.

I really felt that God was leading me to teach in the classroom then. I really see His work in my life - then and now. While I don't think I would have chosen to be a self-employed writer for two years at this point in my life, I have learned many things about myself (some good, some that show areas that need work). I have learned many things about trusting God and growing spiritually - mostly that I need to do more of both.

I look back at other choice points in my life. Would I still choose to do what I did? For the big things, yes. Would I handle some things differently? Of course. Most of those instances are due to the fact that I'm a different person now than I was then. But, then again, those "mistakes" are what led me to grow and be able to handle those things in different, more mature, ways.

Sometimes I wish I was in a different place than I currently am. But I wouldn't be the same person writing this blog post as I am. In fact, I probably wouldn't be writing this blog at all.

Sometimes I think "if only." (If only I'd done ____, then ____.) But I know that God is Sovereign. I love this quote from Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts by Jerry Bridges:
"God has no 'if onlys.' God never makes a mistake; God has no regrets. 'As for God, his way is perfect' (Psalm 18:30). We can trust God. He is trustworthy."
If I truly believe God is in control, I can rely on Him. I can trust His leading. I can make choices and know that God will be in the choice and in the result. I can put aside regret or doubt and look for ways to honor Him and see His work in the place I am.

4 comments:

  1. I had seen instances of your christian faith on twitter and so I was interested in seeing what else you had to say. I have been following your story about first grade because it seems similar to my story. This post really resonated with me and my current journey. But you know what? My faith just grows stronger. I don't worry about the future. I know God has a handle on things. He knows my desires. He knows me as a person and in the end it will work out. You probably didn't realize your story would help someone else, but it has helped me tremendously. When I see your posts about people thinking you're crazy well I had people flat out say things against the way I did things in the classroom. I was ridiculed for not forcing the kids to always sit criss cross. It hurts me to sit that way for long periods of time so why would I force it upon the kids. They were not bothering anyone by sitting differently. Just little things like that that some people like to ridicule because it somehow makes them superior. Thank you for continuing to be transparent and sharing the important things.

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    1. Sandy, your words are so important to me at this moment. God knew I needed to hear them. I've read them over and over since you posted them. God gives strength and assurance, just when we need it. Thanks for commenting.

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    2. Sandy @whysandyreads
      Yes! Last school year, I had several people around me encouraging me and saying things I needed to hear right when I needed to hear them. I had been verbally abused by colleagues and was struggling to pick up the pieces. I had a christian parent who without knowing my struggle because I tried to be as professional as I could when I went in to work would continuously say just what I needed to hear on some of my most toughest days. She had no clue how much I needed to hear those things because she did not know what I was going through. At those times, I would just look up and be grateful because I knew it was coming from God. Even more recently, I had a parent email me and say some things I needed to hear. It's been a hard time, but I've also had to lean a lot on God and just become more assured in that He's here. He's present and everything that has happened has been a blessing. The good and the bad.

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