Recently I heard a song that included lyrics about making choices and having regrets. I began thinking about that. A lot. I certainly regret making choices to sin, doing those things that break my connection with God.
But, aside from those choices, I pondered if there are choices that I regretted, that I would do differently if faced with the same choice again (even knowing what I know now that resulted from those choices). For example, would I still go to teach first grade (knowing that I would be where I am today - outside the classroom and working freelance)? I really thought about it. And yes, I would.
I really felt that God was leading me to teach in the classroom then. I really see His work in my life - then and now. While I don't think I would have chosen to be a self-employed writer for two years at this point in my life, I have learned many things about myself (some good, some that show areas that need work). I have learned many things about trusting God and growing spiritually - mostly that I need to do more of both.
I look back at other choice points in my life. Would I still choose to do what I did? For the big things, yes. Would I handle some things differently? Of course. Most of those instances are due to the fact that I'm a different person now than I was then. But, then again, those "mistakes" are what led me to grow and be able to handle those things in different, more mature, ways.
Sometimes I wish I was in a different place than I currently am. But I wouldn't be the same person writing this blog post as I am. In fact, I probably wouldn't be writing this blog at all.
Sometimes I think "if only." (If only I'd done ____, then ____.) But I know that God is Sovereign. I love this quote from Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts by Jerry Bridges:
"God has no 'if onlys.' God never makes a mistake; God has no regrets. 'As for God, his way is perfect' (Psalm 18:30). We can trust God. He is trustworthy."If I truly believe God is in control, I can rely on Him. I can trust His leading. I can make choices and know that God will be in the choice and in the result. I can put aside regret or doubt and look for ways to honor Him and see His work in the place I am.