I wonder. Did Mary ever doubt? Did Joseph wonder about things in the midst of Mary's pregnancy? After all, they faced some pressures from their culture - Mary pregnant before marriage; Joseph marrying her instead of putting her away in disgrace.
I know that God called Mary and Joseph for their specific purposes and they willingly obeyed and submitted to His call. But they were people, too. I wonder if they had moments when they were really unsure about this path they were on.
Sometimes I wonder if I have blundered into a wrong path. If where I am is God's leading or my own wanderings. I wonder how things will come together. I wonder if I'm foolish to subject my wife to uncertainty. I sometimes feel doubtful that we're being recklessly obedience and are just being reckless.
Is there room for doubt in a life of reckless obedience?
I think that we should continually listen and reflect. We should evaluate what we are doing in light of God's leading through His Word and His people.
I worry that doubt is showing a lack of faith. But I'm learning that perhaps doubt can be an avenue to strengthen my faith. When I wonder about my path and pray and listen and read and pray again, I am continuing to try and align myself with God. If my wondering leads to more focus on Him, then that "doubt" can renew my commitment and faith.
I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6).
I never doubt God. I do doubt my understanding of His will sometimes. But He will continue to work to complete in me what He purposes. I must listen and pray and trust.