Blessings as Burdens

One way I keep joy from being present is by not seeing the blessings. And often I may even look at what I've received as burdens. I think this is even worse that not being thankful - turning something for which I should be grateful into a complaint.

Right now I have a lot of things to do. This week was extremely busy for me. I had meetings and appointments and expectations. I have writing that is overdue. I have lots to keep me going. How do I look at this? Sometimes I say: "I have so much to do. I'll never get it all done." I complain about it and worry about it and so forth. What I should say is: "God has given me so many opportunities. I am thankful that I have ways to earn what I need for my expenses." I look at the blessings and see them as burdens.

Sometimes I may say: "Oh. Spaghetti (or whatever) again. I wish I had something else." In a Bible study last year, I learned that wishing for things to be different is a sign of discontent. I should be saying: "God provides food each day. Even more food than I need because I am never hungry. And my wife is well and can make dinner for me. I am thankful for a full pantry and for someone to share it with."

Do we have challenges? Sure. But others have a lot more than we have. And we've been equipped to deal with each one that comes along. God is good.

I am so easily distracted from joy, thankfulness, and contentment. Why is it so easy to look at the abundance I've been given and moan about how to handle the surplus?

I am thankful for what I've been given, every bit of it. I pray I would see that joy and contentment in each day, in each thing that comes to us.

Different Gifts

I am thankful for the written word. I am so glad that every day I have the opportunity to put words together and create curriculum or stories or blog posts or other things. Words have been helpful to me since I was young. I love to read and I love to write. I am thankful that this is the gift I have.

But I am thankful that others have different gifts. If everyone was the same as me, then we would be missing a lot in this world. We would not have lots of beautiful music. I like to sing but I'm not a great singer. I wish I could play the piano but I cannot. I love to hear music - all kinds - and I'm grateful that others have musical gifts so I can enjoy them.

I am thankful for people who can fix things. I'm not very adept at this type of stuff. I can drive a nail. I can change a tire. But I don't enjoy those things and I cannot do many of those things well. I am grateful that others can tune an engine or take down a tall tree or make the computer work right again.

I am thankful for people who create. Art and sculpture and beautiful things. New inventions or ways of doing things. I am grateful for people who see things in different ways. Preschoolers always show me new ways of thinking and seeing and creating. They are some of the most imaginative people I know.

I am thankful for people who serve. Those who pick up my trash each week. The ones who prepare food and bring it to the table. Those who stock grocery shelves and mow lawns. Sometimes we don't see these things as gifts. But when someone is handling these tasks, they are giving me back time because I don't have to do them. Through their service, they provide space for me to practice my gifts. That's a powerful gift to me, and I am grateful for those who give it.

Today I am thankful for the gift that you give each day to the world around you.

One Year

This time one year ago, Cindy was recovering from surgery for her cochlear implants. One year. In so many ways it seems like a much longer journey than that. (At least to me.) We've learned some new things and adjusted to doing other things differently. We have spent a lot of time together.

I am thankful for one year.

I am thankful I have had her with me for this time. I am thankful that she can hear so well. I'm thankful that I hear her laugh at my silly jokes. I am thankful that God has provided for us this past year, so we've been able to pay our living expenses and medical bills. I am thankful for a church family that supports and loves us in many ways. I am thankful for our families who check on us and spend time with us when we can get together.

I've always said that I'm grateful for each day because no day is promised to us. But as I look back over the past year full of days, I am so glad for this time we've had. There have been other difficulties and other worries that crop up. There have been challenges - nothing to do with medical issues - that we've weathered. And even today we are facing some new things. But I am grateful.

I know Cindy has changed over the past year. No one could experience the things she has and not change. And I see how I have changed too. We have grown over the time we've been married - but I truly think that we are closer than ever. I am so grateful we can have discussions about the Bible like we have in the past. That she can still tell me which turn to take as we drive. That she encourages me and chastises me and loves me as no one else does.

Yes, I am thankful for one year. And each day that comes after it.

His Timing

I am thankful for God's timing. When things happen, my first response is often "Why now?" or some variation of that. In recent years, God has helped me stop asking that question. Well, I still ask it but then dismiss it. (Remember, I'm a slow learner and need lots of reminders.) I was reminded again last night about timing. A friend said to me, "If this 'bad thing' had not happened a while back, there is no way we could deal with our current situation."

I've written before about how God prepared us for where we are now. I became self-employed years before I needed a more flexible schedule. Now I am able to care for Cindy if needed - which mostly means to drive her wherever she needs to go. If I had a regular 9-to-5 job, this would be a struggle. If I remained an elementary school teacher, this would have been almost impossible. (Being a teacher is one of the least flexible schedules you can have - and it's more work to be out than to be at work.)

More recently, I was asked to lead the teacher training at our church last year. Part of that meant I got to lead training for our MDO teachers - which led to me becoming one of them, teaching music. I was already thinking music because I had taught church preschool choir and I was planning to lead the homeschool music class for younger elementary kids. All of this just dovetailed together. I was preparing to be a music teacher before I even knew that's what I was doing. (As an aside, I also had written some music curriculum suggestions for VBS, too. More preparation.)

God's timing is perfect, even if I don't always (rarely) see it. I am so grateful for that. As other events have been happening around me, I take comfort in the knowledge that God is moving the pieces around to prepare things for whatever is coming next. Not just for me but for the church, the community, the people around us. That's exciting. I can't wait to see what will develop from what is happening now.

I am thankful for God's timing, and for being prepared for what's next.

The Cheese Cutter

I love teaching kindergartners. This week I joined a friend building with blocks. He built this machine - for cutting blocks of cheese. He carefully placed the "cheese" on the far end. He hit the middle of the machine for the center block to fall and cut the block on the other side.

He had varying success with his machine. Sometimes the "slicer" would fall but only cut the corner of the cheese. Sometimes other parts of the machine would fall off or the whole thing would fall apart. And, more than once, the slicer fell backward. "It cut this off!" my friend cried, pointing to his knuckle.

"That seems like a dangerous invention," I said.

He nodded. "Of course."

I am thankful for imagination and inventiveness. This device didn't start out as a cheese cutter. In fact, my friend just experimented with construction until he was happy. Then, when the middle fell once, he knew it was a cheese cutter he had made.

Kids seem to have an endless supply of ideas and imagination. Somewhere along the way we adults suppress or lose that. I'm thankful I have young friends to keep my imagination sharper. (Hopefully as sharp as a cheese cutter!)

I am grateful for imagination and ideas...from the young and not so young.

Those Who Help and Serve and Cure

I took Cindy to a doctor's appointment and sat in the lobby, waiting for her to finish. It was fairly early in the morning, so I spent more time sitting and thinking than reading. I watched people moving purposefully around the space. I thought about being thankful. I am thankful for medical professionals and all the work they do, tasks that are life-saving and tasks that seem small but really aren't.

Over the past 18 months, I have seen, listened to, and dealt with many different people who work in the medical field. Doctors, nurses, technicians, therapists, aides as well as receptionists, appointment clerks, and medical records personnel. Almost to a person, they have been kind and helpful. They explain things and answer questions - even ones that I'm sure they think are trivial. They listen and look for solutions when needed. They use their knowledge and skills to help and to heal.

Through God's grace, they are the reason that my wife is here...and she can hear.

In a time when laws and rules and guidelines seem to make things more difficult, I've seen these men and women find a way to help and serve and cure.

I am so thankful for all those who give their lives in service to the sick and injured.

Mintmobile

Yesterday I drove Cindy downtown to do some work - and later drove back downtown to get her. Now people drive crazy here in Nashville, especially on the interstates. I had drivers cutting in and out in front of me. One practically stopped on the interstate because he didn't merge over into the right lane early enough before a split in the road. Off the interstate, we actually saw a driver turn and drive down the wrong side of the road to take a shortcut to where he wanted to go.

After my morning drive, I was angry. I felt pretty much angry throughout the day and got another dose in the afternoon when I drove downtown the second time. One thing I've learned - anger does not bring joy. Joy comes when I have contentment and thankfulness.

So - I decided to combat that anger with gratitude. I am thankful that I have a car that will get me around where I need to go. I'm thankful that I'm able to put fuel in my car so it will go. The little car we have now is what Cindy and I think about as our miracle car.

After the truck was wrecked, we began searching for a replacement vehicle. Cindy saw the mint green car online at a dealership. We both dismissed it as being too small for us. (I want to get in a car, not put it on and wear it.) We kept searching...mostly because the insurance check was a little delayed and that was what we needed to pay the bulk of our "new" car's cost. We drove a few cars and looked at a few others. We almost bought one but it didn't work out.

Cindy went back to her online searching and that mint green car appeared again - still on the market. Cindy contacted the dealer, asking how much the "out the door" total would be. The car had been reduced; in fact the dealer was ready to send it to auction. We went down to check it out. Even though it's a small car, the space for driving (and passengering) is roomier than anything else we'd tried. Total cost was just a little over our insurance amount. We drove out of the dealership with our new Mintmobile.

It's been the perfect car for us. I am so thankful for it. Since I love puns so much, I even call it the Meant-mobile from time to time - it's the car that was meant for us at this moment.

For the next couple of weeks, I'm going to take a page from my friend Linda's practice - and notice the things for which I'm thankful. Being thankful for what I've been given is a great way to celebrate the joy I have.

I am thankful for my little car that dependably gets me where I need to go.

Words Are Powerful

Since I make a living using words, I think they are important. In writing--and a lot of times in speaking--I search for just the right word to convey the meaning I want. Words matter. An action could be unobtrusive or stealthy or sneaky. All mean similar things but those meanings are very different in terms of character or connotation.

Words are powerful. I can remember criticisms I have received years ago. Those words still echo in my brain at times. We tend to recall the words that cut and not the words that compliment.

I remember words I said that I wished were never spoken. Once, when I taught second grade, I made a careless comment to a student. He immediately said, "And I know that I'm to blame for everything that is happening today." He wasn't. I had to apologize to him and hope that I could repair the power of my words.

In recent months, I've been hearing a lot of words from a lot of people. Some of those words were chosen to hurt or harm. And, in some settings, I've tossed around some unkind words, too. As I ponder these things, I remember something the Bible says about words.

I tell you that on the day of judgment people will have to account for every careless word they speak. Matthew 12:36

We are accountable for every careless and thoughtless word--as well as deliberately chosen word--we speak. That gives me pause and even makes me cringe.

I want to practice focusing on the words that heal and uplift -- both when I speak and when I listen to others' words. I will try to focus on the powerful joyful words and put aside those that do not bring joy. I want to speak and write in affirming ways. I want the words I use to be careful and thoughtful, not careless and thoughtless.

And that goes for the words I say to myself as well. I often engage in careless self-talk: That was stupid. You cannot do anything right. No wonder you have few friends. What's wrong with you? Those words are powerful, too. I think I'll have to give an account for those careless words, too, even though I spoke them to myself.

Here are the joyful uplifting words I have today for me: I enjoyed a leisurely morning. I accomplished several tasks on my list. God's grace was affirmed to me as I prayed to Him.

I don't want to be a Pollyanna, avoiding the unpleasant. But I do want to be a wise wordsmith, speaking grace-filled and mercy-filled truth that points others (and myself) to Him.

Absorb the Joy Around You

I'm an agreeable, go-along kind of guy. Well most of the time. My wife may choose to offer rebuttal. But in many cases, I can go with just about any scenario. If someone feels hot and turns on air or feels cold and turns on heat, I can adapt. Most rooms are just fine for me. Whatever the group chooses as a restaurant is fine; I can find something to eat on most menus. I really don't have a favorite food or a favorite restaurant - it depends on what I'm in the mood for if I'm choosing but usually I'll just go along with whatever someone else chooses.

It sounds as if I have no opinions or that I'm a wishy-washy person that just does whatever. Not exactly true. Most of the time it's just not that big of a deal for me. Where we eat or what movie we see isn't that important as long as I get to spend time with the people with me. I guess I'd rather avoid drama and wait for something that I really feel strongly about.

There are several dangers with being an agreeable sort. One of them is that I tend to pull in the emotions around me. If people around me are upbeat, I'll become more upbeat even if I've had a bad day. If people around me are low, I'll become more somber even if I was pretty happy when I arrived.

It's like I am what I experience. I become what is around me.

Maybe that's why I enjoy being with preschoolers so much. They are almost always joyous and excited. Seeing a rainbow or a sparkly dress or a ladybug or a fire truck can ramp up the happiness. And I become more and more happy with them.

Things around me have been a little tough lately. I've experienced some angry people and some sad people. The weather has been dreary. The atmosphere around me a little melancholy. I don't blame others for the way I've been feeling, but being surrounded by difficult circumstances and upset people has caused me to be in more of a fog than I usually am. (Again, my wife may disagree!)

This has made me more committed to finding joy each day - and absorbing that joy inside. My joy today is enjoying unexpected morning off and accomplishing some tasks.  Nothing is better for motivation than checking items off the to-do list.

Today's Joy: Unexpected Free Time

Faithful Doing

It is always amazing to me that, when you start to pay attention to something, it seems to pop up everywhere. Since I have been on my journey of joy, I have heard people talking about joy, seen quotes about joy, and encountered that word or its relatives all over.

Today, as I read "My Utmost for His Highest," I read this:

Joy means the perfect fulfilment of that for which I was created and regenerated, not the successful doing of a thing. The joy Our Lord had lay in doing what the Father sent Him to do.

This has also become a theme for me in recent weeks. Do that for which I am created; fulfill the ministry I've been given. I keep hearing that I need to be about my own work. And in this quote, I see that joy doesn't mean that I have great success in what I'm going. Joy is in being faithful to what I've been assigned,  even if it's a struggle or if obstacles come along.

Yesterday in my homeschool music class, I had fun. But I also had to pull out the stern voice a couple of times. Kids were a little hyped up. (It's probably this crazy weather that gets warm, cold, warm, cold, and so forth.) Anyway, my music class tends to be a little loose and free-flowing. But yesterday seems to be the day that everyone wanted to follow his own agenda and ignore what I was saying or how I was leading. So--the stern voice. (Ominous chord here.)

I wasn't feeling very accomplished or successful when I drove home. It wasn't major failure but I kept trying to figure out what I needed to do differently, to change for next week. I think it was just one of those things. Or they are feeling more comfortable with me. Or it was the end of a long day and they were ready to cut loose. Whatever.

I need to remember that the joy comes not in how successful things go (although I want to do my best). Joy comes as I fulfill what I should be doing - teaching and working with boys and girls, listening to them and learning with them.

Joy isn't pressure to succeed. Joy is realized in the doing of what we've been created to do.

Iguana

Yesterday I spent time with some new groups of preschoolers. When you spend time with preschoolers, you are always going to learn new things. New things about them or new things about how to see the world. Even talking with children I see regularly gives me new insights and new ideas.

As I talked with one of my friends, he was working on a picture. He filled the page with blue (the sky). Then he took a pencil and drew in a figure that I could not see. "It's an iguana," he said. He grabbed a green paint stick to bring the iguana to life on his field of blue.

To make conversation, I made a comment about an iguana looking like a lizard.

"An iguana is a lizard," my friend explained. "It's my favorite lizard." I nodded. Then he said, "Lizard is my favorite animal, and iguana is my favorite lizard."

His comment resonated with me all day. It reminded me of other things I've heard from preschoolers. They tell me their favorite foods or even their "fourth favorite color." Adults don't do this same thing. We may have favorite things, but we don't usually have conversations about them with others. We often do not categorize and list the things we like or enjoy.

Maybe that's why this "journey of joy" for me has been so interesting. I've been able to catalog things that bring joy. I think about my favorite moment of the day or a favorite thing I saw or did. I'm going to start thinking about my favorite things...maybe not telling everyone about them but at least thinking about the favorite things I like and savoring those joys each day.

For the record: My favorite lizard is chameleon. My fourth favorite color is blue (at least today it is).

Not Listening

I read Oswald Chambers regularly. Sometimes every day. Sometimes I miss a couple of days and read things later. I get an email daily from "My Utmost for His Highest," so I can catch up if I miss. Often Chambers really gives me a kick in the pants. Today I read this in my email:

We do not consciously disobey God, we simply do not heed Him. God has given us His commands; there they are, but we do not pay any attention to them, not because of willful disobedience but because we do not love and respect Him.

 Wow. I often don't heed God because I don't have the love and respect for Him that I should. That really hit me. But Chambers wasn't finished with me yet.

We show how little we love God by preferring to listen to His servants only. We like to listen to personal testimonies, but we do not desire that God Himself should speak to us. Why are we so terrified lest God should speak to us? Because we know that if God does speak, either the thing must be done or we must tell God we will not obey Him. If it is only the servant’s voice we hear, we feel it is not imperative.

I often choose to listen to (or read about) what others say related to God and His Word. I don't choose to read the Word myself and listen carefully to what it says. Why? Because then I would have to do something about it or deliberately choose to disobey. When I read something or hear something, I can think that it is just someone else's opinion and discount the truth in it.

I do read the Bible daily. But I sometimes read it to "check off" that from my task list and move on. I don't really listen or heed the word. I'm not trying to be disobedient but just don't have the respect and love for God that I should.

I wasn't going to write today. But when I read this, I knew I had to admit here that I don't heed as I should, that I make excuses far too often, that I disregard the truth that someone speaks because I don't want to hear it.

I'm finding that my search for joy is leading me to be deeper in my relationship with Him. I'm making a "March resolution" to truly listen - to pay attention to what God is saying and to joyfully obey.