Do Not Be Afraid

"I sought the LORD and He answered me,

He delivered me from all my fears."
(Psalm 34:4)

It's funny how words you memorized years ago can come back at a moment's notice. I memorized the above verse a long time ago. I even created a small song about it so I could remember it easily. But I haven't thought about it for a long while. Today, I was reading something online and read a similar verse and that song echoed in my head.

And it made me realize that I needed this verse right now.

Do you have fears? In this time of adventure, I do. Fears, worries, anxieties, concerns. Call them whatever you will. But I do fear or worry that no one will ever consider me for a teaching job again. I worry that somewhere along the line I missed or misunderstood God's leadership. I fear what people think of me when they see me. I fear that maybe I'm failing my family by not doing more. I fear that doing too much is a lack of faith and trust in God to do His work.

See. Lots of fears and worries. 

And then I remembered and read this verse again. Seeking God is the deliverance from fears. More of Him is less of all that...stuff.

Cindy and I were talking the other day. It's amazing how many times God or His messenger says, "Do not be afraid." He said it to Abraham and to Isaac. He said it to the Israelites as they left Egypt and wandered in the wilderness. He said it several times to Joshua as Joshua began his new leadership role. He said it to Mary when she heard about His plan for Jesus' birth. He said it to Joseph about the marriage to Mary. He said it to the shepherds at the announcement of that birth. He says it to us today.

The remedy to being afraid? Seeking God. Calling on Him and listening to Him.

Those times of anxiety? Seek Him. Those times of discouragement? Seek Him. Worries and troubles? Seek God. 

God is Sovereign and God is in control. There is no reason to fear. Do not be afraid.

(Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go spend some seeking time.)

Back to the Same Thing

In John 21, Peter and other disciples were in Galilee. Peter decided to go fishing and the others join him. All night long, they fish and catch nothing.

Jesus called to them from the shore. (They didn't recognize Him.) Jesus said to put the nets on the other side of the boat. They caught a netful of fish.

I'm sure you know the rest of the story. Peter swam to shore after John said the man was Jesus. The others came in the boat, bringing all those fish. Jesus was cooking breakfast for the men. They ate together. Jesus restored Peter by asking him, "Do you love Me?" three times.

There's a lot in this Bible passage, a lot to digest and learn from. But one thing has been sticking with me about this passage, something that I haven't pondered a lot before.

Peter was sitting around and decided to go back to what he had done before. He chose to do this...after seeing the empty tomb and the risen Christ. He went back to fishing. Was he going backward? Going back to what he knew when things had taken an unexpected turn? Did he think his ministry was over?

As I thought about this, I realized something else. He was unsuccessful in going back. He caught nothing all night. The only time he caught fish was when he listened to Jesus.

BAM!

Lately I've been trying to figure out what to do. I sometimes think I need to go back to some things that worked for me in the past. I try some of the "old" ways, not sinful or wrong ways, but things that were successful in the past.

But those things won't work for me if Jesus isn't in it. Success = following God and His way. As I think and wonder about what to do, I must be willing to let go of those easy, fall-back things. I'll come up empty every time.

Easy answers are so often my way. We must listen and follow God's way. And that means moving forward into new, uncharted territory.

Not a Formula

My pastor said something this week that really resonated with me: You cannot reduce God down to a formula. We do not have faith in a formula but in a person. 

I think this is what I've been trying to do lately. I have finished my degree. I've done other "steps" as I see them appear. Now I should get the result I want.

This plus that plus the other thing equals my expected result.

But that's not God. God works in His own way and at His own time. He is not linear. He is God.

My anxiety has been climbing in recent days. I think it's because I see or hear of classmates getting jobs or moving on to the next stage. People ask me about my own future steps.

And I don't see anything changing yet. Still waiting....

When I look back at Scripture, I see people in a waiting mode. Moses spent 40 years as a shepherd in the wilderness. I wonder if at year 2 or year 10 or year 25, Moses thought: "Okay. I'm ready to move on. This sheep-watching has been interesting and rewarding but I'm ready for the next stage."

Joseph spent a long while in an Egyptian prison. At one point, he saw what he thought was the way out. "Remember me when you are back with Pharaoh," he told the cupbearer after interpreting a dream. The man said he would, but forgot him for 3 years.

God is not a formula or a checklist. "I did this and did that. I went here. I waited there. I herded sheep. I was faithful even in prison. Now I'll get my due."

Not the way God works.

And my due is nothing but death. I don't deserve anything that I have already received from God. And continue to receive. God continues to bless. Why do I feel restless or discontent? Why do I focus on what hasn't happened rather than what has?

I am truly grateful for what God has given us. He has continued to show us His faithfulness and blessing. I'm sure in ways that I don't even see. That's where I need to rest. I need to keep working where God has led me at this point.

I will trust the person and stop trying to find the formula.

My G-Mail

Dear God,

I'm waiting. You know that I'm waiting. I'm listening. Well...I'm trying to listen or at least I say that I'm listening. Mostly I'm doing lots of things and occasionally praying. And trying to impose what I think You want me to do. Yeah, there's that. I'm definitely doing that.

But I want to listen. Show me how to really tune into You and Your will. Oh, Your Word. I read it. Most of the time. Meditate on it? Not so much.

So.... I don't really listen. I don't focus on Your Word. I try to pursue my own ideas and pass them off as Yours.

Yeah. I see.

Forgive me, God, that I've not made the most of this time You've given me. Help me to truly listen. To truly meditate on Your Word. To truly wait in the manner You desire.

I'm waiting, God. And it's good.

Expectation

It's Easter, the most holy day in Christianity. We ponder the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, the cornerstone of our faith.

As I read through the Scriptures, I am struck by the expectations of the disciples and followers of Jesus and how those compare to the reality of what happened.

Recently I was reading about the disciples on the road to Emmaus. After the crucifixion and resurrection, these two traveling followers were discussing all that had happened in Jerusalem. Jesus, unrecognized, began walking with them and asking what they were discussing.

In their discussion they said, "We were hoping that He (Jesus) was the One who was about to redeem Israel." (Luke 24:21)

That statement struck me. Essentially, they were saying: "We thought He was the One who would fulfill all our expectations."

Jesus did redeem Israel (and the world) through His death. But His death and resurrection were not what the followers were expecting. They were expecting a more earthly deliverance from their oppressors.

Jesus then spoke to these two disciples, showing them the true work of the Messiah through the Scriptures.

As is my habit, I pondered the words of this passage. I pondered that, in the midst of great redemption, these two disciples still focused on their lesser expectations.

That happens so much to us. I wrote about it in the previous post, focusing on smaller pieces rather than the big picture. God offers redemption and reconciliation with Him. We focus on our small struggles now. God offers peace and rest. We want just a little more financial security.

Our expectations are so small. God's provision is superabundantly large.

I don't want to pray for my expectations. I want to marvel at His overwhelming gifts.

Puzzled

The kids in our kindergarten class really seem to enjoy puzzles. I enjoy watching them and talking with them about what they are doing.

Over the years, I've noticed that they all do the same thing. A kid will try a puzzle piece in a particular place. He (or she) will think the shape or the color is right and will try it. It won't fit. He will try it in another place or lay it aside. Then, a mere minute or so later, he will try to place the same piece in the same wrong place. This can happen several times as he is working on his puzzle.

As I watched this phenomenon play out again recently, something popped into my mind. A few lines from a poem I wrote ages ago:

My life is like a jigsaw puzzle and the pieces don't seem to fit.
The more I look at each and every piece, the more confused I get.

And then I thought about our lives at this particular point. I keep looking at individual pieces. I keep trying to place those pieces in the same places that didn't work the first (or second or one-hundredth) time.

God has given us all these different pieces, leading us through all these different experiences to get us to the place we are now. We are trying to wedge those pieces into the place we think they fit. But they don't.

God sees the bigger picture. He knows how all these pieces fit together to fulfill His will. We need to keep collecting pieces and following when we see where He is placing them.

Maybe that teaching or writing or editing or other experience doesn't fit in that "logical to us" place. Maybe it fits into a greater place that we don't even know yet.

A particular phrase from Ephesians 3:20 keeps coming to mind: [He] who is able to do above and beyond all that we ask or think according to the power that works within us. More than we can ask or think. Some translations say "ask or imagine."

I don't know about you...but I can think and imagine all kinds of things. And God is able to do above and beyond anything I can think of, as His power is at work.

I'm not sure how all these puzzle pieces will fit together. But God's big picture is glorious. We must trust, wait, and stop focusing on all those little pieces.

More than we can ask or think. I'm so excited.

What Are You Gonna Do Now?

The other day I was going to observe in a kindergarten classroom. This year has been the year of observations. I've had to do several for my university classes. This particular day, I had to be at the school by 8:00 am. And Cindy needed to go into the office to work. We left the house early (at least much earlier than we usually do). We stopped for breakfast at a convenience store; that means I got coffee in a cup with one of those plastic lids.

I dropped Cindy off and sat in the parking lot for a while to drink my coffee...before going on to the school. Something happened. I'm still not sure what. I bumped/jostled the cup; it tipped; I tried to steady it; the lid flew off; the coffee poured down my leg and into the floor of my truck. At least a third of a large cup of coffee. Hot coffee.

I didn't know what to do. I had a wet pants leg and a soggy floorboard. And I was due at the school in about 45 minutes. I could not go home to change and get back to the school in time.

I yelled a little. I panicked a little. I took a deep breath. Then I made a plan. I drove to a store to get paper towels. I sopped up as much as I could from the floor. By then my leg began to dry. And my pants were dark so the spill didn't really show much.

Why this story? Well, I've been experiencing a lot of these types of things lately.

Programs that won't work. Lost things that I just had a couple of minutes before. A frozen computer that means I just lost unsaved work. Over and over I keep having these things.

I think God's been trying to teach me something. These things happen. They are usually small. They are always frustrating. They often make me angry.

These things happen. And I must deal with them.

God's showing me that, no matter what, I'll face these ongoing frustrations that challenge my patience and my calm. I cannot avoid them or stop them. What I can do is deal with them in a better way.

I may grimace or grunt. I may punch the air (but not anyone or anything). But I still must deal with them.

So now I'm learning to take a deep breath. Walk away for a minute. Pray for patience and guidance. (That's usually the last thing I try. Maybe it should be the first.) And then I deal with it. Calmly and thoughtfully. As best as I can in the circumstances. And learn from it.

It's not the big things that get me. It's those small frustrations that trigger doubts in my competence (or sometimes sanity).

Stuff happens. How can I deal with it that honors God?