Thankful Each Day

I am a traditions kind of guy. I like traditions of all kinds. Growing up, I liked holidays when we did the same things as we had done the year before. I liked the same foods on the table at Thanksgiving, the same ornaments and decorations at Christmas, the same church play of the nativity (I was Gabriel!), the same gatherings of family for all the holidays. In fact, I would probably be the guy singing that song in "Fiddler on the Roof."

"Tradition! Tradition! Tradition!"

But I also discovered as I grew older that traditions change or fall by the wayside. Things at Christmas change as little kids become bigger kids and then teenagers. Family gatherings change as people marry and have children. Traditions become merged when you begin your own household. Traditions change.

But one holiday that maintained for me has been Thanksgiving. I may not still gather at my grandparents' house with all my cousins, but I still gather with family and often have the same types of foods - even if it's just two of us. However, this year we had a completely untraditional Thanksgiving. I sat in a hospital room with Cindy and my mother. We ate turkey and dressing made by the hospital kitchen. (It was tasty but the dressing was definitely not the traditional dressing I like.) We did have the traditional nap after eating; we all dozed in the quiet room.

Yes, traditions are important and comforting. But what I learned this year is that the important thing is relationships. (Of course I knew that but it was important to be reminded.) Our Thanksgiving may have been untraditional but I was with my mother; she had put aside her own everyday life to be with us for a couple of weeks. I was with Cindy - and that's something I cannot take for granted after this past month. She was eating regular food, on her own, smiling at me, talking with me. I am truly thankful.

So often I forget to be thankful, to truly thank God for what I have each day. But the unexpected things this month - both the unexpected health crisis and the unexpected blessings that have been given to us - make me realize that God gives me undeserved and unlimited grace each and every day. I should make it a regular practice (tradition??) to give Him thanks and praise.

God is good all the time. And all I do and say should be to His glory.

I hope that eating turkey in a hospital room does not become a new tradition for us. But I hope I will be as thankful to God each Thanksgiving - and each day - as I felt when I looked at my wife's face on this particular Thanksgiving.

Unexpected Paths

A little over two weeks ago, everything was as it usually was. We went to work. We went to church. We taught preschoolers in choir and Sunday School. Cindy was feeling a little under the weather...a cold, allergies, something like that. We were just traveling along on our regular road as always.

Then we were on a new path, an unexpected twisty path. Definitely not on our itinerary.

For the past two weeks (has it just been two weeks?), Cindy has been in the hospital. We arrived in the emergency room via ambulance. Then to ICU, intubated and sedated. After waking and alert she moved to a regular room. And now in rehab.

Severe pneumonia that also developed meningitis. We're currently dealing with some memory impairment. And, oh, she cannot hear. Is this permanent? We don't know at this point. But we're definitely on an unplanned path with still unknown twists ahead.

These past two weeks have been quite a journey. Here are a few things I (Scott) learned along the way. (You know me, I gotta think about stuff to process it.)

1. Things can change instantly. Two weeks ago Cindy was working on her computer and even went into the office one day. We talked and laughed and joked as always. Now she's working on getting back her mobility. And we communicate in a combination of sign language, lip reading, and writing notes. The change has been instant...and long at the same time.

2. Our church family is great. We have received meals, cards, gifts, and visits. People have been more kind and generous than I could have even thought. And they are continuing to minister to us regularly.

3. Life doesn't stop. Just because we hit a new patch of road doesn't mean that everything else changes or stops. Bills still need to be paid, clothes washed, responsibilities met. Cindy and I tend to work as a team  - she handles some things and I handle others with each of us picking up the slack when needed. So I've spent some of the past week trying to figure out where we are on some things and taking care of business. And I couldn't just ask Cindy what needed to be done. Things are fine but it did create some stress for a few days.

4. God is good and hears our prayers. Where we are now I could not have predicted even a week ago. We've had a few low points when I've been really worried. (I know you're not to worry but it sometimes happens before I can stop it.) A couple of days I wasn't sure how long we would be in the hospital. I still don't know when we will go home but we are so much further along.

5. No matter what happens, it's for God's glory. Seeing God work. Hearing from people all over the country who are praying for Cindy. Reading verses and hearing songs that reinforce God's sovereignty throughout anything. Whenever I worry or struggle, I see God's hand at work. I only pray I can glorify Him through this complete journey.

And the BIG ONE - Ask for help.
Okay, I'm still working on this one. I like to think I can handle things. But if the last week has taught me anything, it's that people are ready to help and people must allow others to help them. I was thinking the other night about the verse: "Bear one another's burdens." (Galatians 6:2) I've always focused on the first word - the admonition to help, assist, carry the burdens of others. But these past two weeks have made me see this verse differently. God also is telling us that we must be willing to yield our burdens to be borne by others. No one can help bear my burden if I'm shouldering it all alone. I must share my burden - my need - with others. Then they can help bear it.

And this has reminded me of something else that I was once told: Do not steal someone else's blessing of helping you. If I keep the burden to myself, I rob someone of the opportunity to help. And I don't want to rob someone of joy and blessing.

I haven't mastered this asking for help yet. But I'm working on it. (And I hope I learn it without a new lesson!)

There are more lessons...and more to come, I'm sure. But I know God is at work in Cindy's life and in mine. May He be glorified in the days ahead.