"On the day I called, You answered me; You increased strength within me." (Psalm 138:3)
Recently Psalm 138 has become my go-to passage. I read it regularly, daily. The verse above has become particularly meaningful to me.
School will be starting here soon. Cindy and I were talking last week about the fact that I have had zero calls or interviews for this upcoming school year. Zero. "I think that is unexpected," I said. "That no one would contact me. That there wouldn't be at least one principal who called for an interview. Especially since I've contacted some of them when I knew about openings." As we talked, I told her that I had a realization. It must be God at work. He is working out His plan (not our plan). And I am content to continue on as I am. I enjoy writing. I enjoy editing. God has continued to multiply our flour and oil, giving us what we need and more.
Then, earlier this week, my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number and tried to answer it. The phone stopped ringing before I could answer. In a time shorter than voice mail would pick up. Hmm, I thought. Then I did something that I sometimes do; I did a reverse lookup online. That number was an elementary school. Someone called and then hung up.
It's interesting what can get me on the anxiety train. I kept thinking about that phone call. The one that was missed, for whatever reason. The one I didn't get. What if. I wonder. Over and over in my head.
I had to keep reminding myself of a truth that I learned years ago: God is bigger than anything else. He is bigger than missed calls or electronic flubs. If that's a direction that I should pursue, the call will come again. I put it out of my mind. Until it would sneak back in.
I knew that God would work His will. I knew that I was content to write and not teach in a classroom. But I also remember the dream that I feel God has given me - to be a classroom teacher. So the thoughts would come back. I prayed to give those anxious thoughts to God. And no call came.
Yesterday morning I woke up thinking and praying about this. "God," I said, "I know that You are in control. I know that You are bigger than anything. I know that if no call ever comes, You are still God and still working in our lives." I took a deep breath. "I want Your will above all. But I really want a call. As I understand things at this moment, I want a call. But I give it to You."
I put it aside mentally. I moved on into my day. A couple of hours later, I got a call from a principal. She wanted to know if I could come for an interview that morning, in just two hours. I said yes. The interview seemed to go well. She said she wants to make a decision by the end of the week.
On the way home, I checked my phone. A missed call and a message. From a number I didn't recognize. I pulled over to listen to the message. Another school. Wondering if I could come for an interview on Monday. I called back and left a message saying I was interested and available. As I started for home, the phone rang again. It was the second school. "What is your schedule today?" she asked. "Could you come this afternoon?" So I went to a second interview. That went well, too.
I asked for a call. I got two calls. I don't know if either will be what God wants me to do. I see positives in both possibilities. I would take either.
But, as I marveled again at God's provision and God's answers, I learned what I really need to keep in mind. God is always at work. God is at work when there are calls. God is at work when there are no calls. If I learn anything through our journey, it will be that God is sovereign, always at work in our lives. Even when we can't see Him. Even when we don't realize it.
And sometimes He overabundantly reassures us that He's at work.
(We thank you for your prayers for us. Please pray that we will be obedient, recklessly obedient, in whatever and wherever God leads.)